So, last night I was thinking about the extent that my past has shaped my attitudes, personality and my decisions.

(I don't know how much I'm gonna share right here. Let's see how I go.)

Unlike most people I know, high school life for me wasn't the best time of my life. I know this because I see the way people talk about their high school years with a sense of nostalgia; I ask people "high school or uni life?" and I realise, under no circumstances, that I'd never really consider my actual high school life as a good memory in its entirerty.

... ok I'm being over dramatic.

High school wasn't bad. I made some really good friends, I grew up, I experienced things, I had fun. But it was those events, broken relationships, times of desolation that made me who I am today.

The people at my high school were different. When I look at who my friends are these days, I discover the type of people that I wish were around back in the day so I didn't have to experience everything I did. I had few real friends back then and I relied on my out-of-school life to keep me going.

Point is, I was never super comfortable. I was a drifter. Many of the relationships I made were surface relationships. They were fragile.

I hurt people without thinking. I got hurt. It wasn't easy.

It makes me wonder. It made me wonder whether I'd be more confident, less careful, more aggressive towards my relationships these days if I had a past where I was always accepted, always protected and never made to feel isolated.

I've had to depend on myself for a lot of my life. I think it's how you grow. When you know that things change, people change and little is CONSTANT, you have to adapt. You have to think before you act. You have to be mindful about how different people may react to things you do. Because we don't all have the same value system.

With that, I also want to add that... I'm still not perfect. I still offend people unknowingly, I can still be selfish, but I'm working on it.

That's it. Bye!