Party Planning is difficult. I wish I just had a surprise party... actually... =D (Hi Veed!)

theWEATHERchannel reckons it's gonna rain on my party day *boo* so I think I have to get a marquee... maybe. My dad (even though he openly opposes me having a party at home at all) reckons we can all squash into my house relatively comfortably. Lucky I'm not super popular... I reckon I'm only REALLY expecting about 40 people for sure... actually, that doesn't include family and the tentative... so maybe up to 60 =
If you reckon you're invited but didn't get an invite, haaaahller at me and I'll send ya the deets: nelzy@spryte061.com (I recommend you make the subject really unique because... well you'll understand if you saw how much junkmail I got)

TODO:
* Giveaways - Neex helped me with the idea for these so I'm working on those on the weekend
* Invites CANCELLED
* Dress - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try to wear a dress if you're a girl!
* Party Hire - Where the bulk of my weekend is going

Oh yeh... and PRESENT IDEAS - are hard. But HONESTLY, your presence will do me just fine :). If you can, hook me up with a CD of songs I can play during the night because I couldn't be bothered doing it myself... mostly old stuff from my high school/primary school years - that'd be cool. Only if you could be bothered...

But seriously, rock up, look beautiful and I will be forever grateful.

Work is fantastic. I've never been so happy shit-kicking. I'm doing some really minor code changes throughout one of the web-based apps - doesn't change any functionality, just refactoring really. I can't expect to be doing anything useful for a while - I hardly know the business yet! But I'm really looking forward to all of that!

You don't understand how happy I was last night. If you were there, you know why... that's all.

Ok, Spamela and Mewissa reckon I'm in love just because I was talking to this guy at lunch today. Is it supposed to be my number 1 goal in life to find someone? Coz it isn't for me. If you've been through what I've been through, and seen what I've seen... you wouldn't have any faith in guys my age. PLUS, I'm loving my freedom. I can't imagine fitting a boyfriend into my life at the moment. They're good as friends... but that's it.

I remember the times when my boyfriend was expected to be everywhere I was - and when he wasn't, I'd get asked a gazillion times "So, where's so-and-so? What's he doing tonight? How is he?". WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Do people really want to get to know ME? Or do they just care about him AND me. At least now that I'm on my own, I know people are friends with me and aren't just being friends with me because I'm associated with someone else. At least... I'd like to believe that :)

Sheesh.

Okay... I get all riled up when I start talking about my freedom. Must be a Sagittarius thing :) But I'll stop now. Promise.

Ok Bye.

I've had so much excitement in me for the past two days. I wonder whether it'll diminish once I settle in...

On the Induction: Met the other 12 Summer Vacation Students at Thinkspace yesterday morning. I think we were all equally nervous and excited which made things a little more comfortable. I believe we're all in different areas of the bank... with only 3 of us hanging out as part of ISD - in different groups though. We sat through a number of talks on the bank's facilities, HR policies, coy values and the internal intranet. I think it was the first lot of talks I haven't nodded off in. Morning tea was great, Lunch was great - then we had to go to work...

On the Perks: OROTON @ Wholesale prices, free weekend parking, schmancy pen - what more can I say?

On the Execution: We all ended up on Lvl 7 while our supervisors called our division contacts and one-by-one we were taken away into an unknown world. It was pretty scary... but funny at the same time.

On the First Afternoon: I was introduced to all the people who sat around me - had to start memorising names again! I also got taken around to key areas as a mini-tour before I got to work. I was asked to work on setting my computer up with the right dev tools yesterday afternoon. I hit a bit of a dead-end in the process, but it was the end of the day so I just left it for the next day.

On the Second Day: I spent all of today finishing off my machine setup. This included a lot of waiting time because it took a while for the helpdesk to set me up on Unix - so I browsed some other docco lying around... and went through some Java tutes - FUN! I was gonna have lunch with Mew, but the team usually has lunch together on Tuesday (which is one or two team members' treat!) so I decided to stay in and get to know the team a bit better.

On the Christmas Party: WOOHOO! Christmas Party in 2 weeks!

On the Security Passes: I LAAAHHVVEEE IT! I've never had one before - so everytime I use it, I feel like a spy! VERY COOL!

Ok that's it for now... more later... maybe.

Y'know what I realised today? Male cologne can be really ALLURING. There's something about it that can turn someone into WOW-material. It's like a drug or something - stay strong Nel, stay strong!

One more thing...
On Tact: Some people don't have it... but should.

Ok really... that's it. Bye!

* twiddling thumbs *

...

* INHALE *

...

* EXHALE *

... there's no turning back now...

PS. Today was beautiful :)
PPS. Thanks for listening... I'm going to sleep now.

*editEXTRAedit*
One more thing... reckon people in relationships have a better knowledge and understanding of the protocols of relationships than people who aren't? If they do, does this knowledge disintegrate once you come out of a relationship? Or maybe it becomes blurred when you've been out of a relationship for - say - over a year?

Because seriously... I sometimes get this feeling that my opinions are deemed invalid coz I've been out of a relationship for a while. It's like... I can't possibly understand because I'm not there.

I guess I don't really care. As long as I'm not going out with a person that's macking around behind my back - I am sweet.

Ahh... so bitter about the male species. Disagree? Come on. You have to at least let me claim the knowledge of the ability of the sleezy/unfaithful/confident male? Thank you.

Jesus, Jesus,
Holy and Anointed One,
Jesus.

Your Name is like honey on my lips,
Your Spirit's like water to my soul,
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet,
Jesus, I love you,
I love you.

Jesus I need you...

Funny how what He has to offer is all that keeps me going when I'm at my lowest.
I can only imagine what it'd be like to love as much as He does.

NEWSFLASH!

1. I am up to Disc 6 of 6 in my ALIAS Season One DVDs - how's that? Season One in one week. Lucky I didn't watch Season One! I woulda been going through withdrawals all week waiting to see WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT?!

2. I finally started learning Java. Just getting into the rhythm... learning stuff I already know, but just drilling it in just for me.

3. I have back dimples! HAR HAR HAR! They're really low in my back so you probably can't see them unless I'm wearing really low-rise jeans. But I'm so proud of them! See, I started to believe I couldn't get them coz it was something that was part of your genetic make-up or not. But I have them! WOOOOW!

4. Gonna go shopping tomorrow! WOO HOO!

5. I like knowing I have one of the Top 20 WAM's in my course!

That's all. My head is spinning... gym took out all my energy. Need to shower. Bye!

I'm still awake because I can be. I had to finish this Industrial Training Report that's due on Friday. I probably don't have enough time to get it done for the rest of the week anyway. I managed to get a V to make sure I didn't procrastinate tonight.

This week is supposed to be my relaxation week. To me, Relaxation = Watching ALIAS Season One DVDs

When I'm not "Relaxing", I've been:
* Looking for RAM unsuccessfully
* Wanting to study Java unsuccessfully (actually, I did some coding tonight - so that's a start right?)
* Working toward the pre-ADORE conference on Saturday
* Doing my Industrial Training deliverables (which are GONE after tonight!)
* Planning little particulars for my party - it's in just over 2 weeks yo! Have not planned anything but the date, time and location. HELP! Nix has done my invites so I might spare some time tomorrow to work on those... once again UNSUCCESSFULLY

Gosh... maybe if I hadn't watched the 10 or so episodes of ALIAS that I have... I'd be on top of some of those things. How dare work give me something so interesting to play with on my week off!

... which reminds me...
* I need to buy KK present for workmate before Christmas Party on Friday =\ OOPS!

ARGH! Not relaxed at all. But I guess the rush is good. I'm wondering what it would've been like if I hadn't taken this week off... hmmm.

Anyways... should I have a marquee at my birthday? I don't really want to because, if it's a sunny afternoon, I don't want to block the sun away y'know? Waddayareckon? Okay... maybe I should wait til after Sunday to plan this crap. What food do you guys wanna eat? Kuf oath how annoying. AAAAAH! Too many questions. No answers.

Why can't time just STOP for a bit? Everything's going too fast for me and I can't keep up with it. BREATHE! It's 3am. I should sleep. Goodnight.

Excuse the rambling. Bye!

I hate it when video clips make the song look crap. I saw Guy's video clip today for "Angels Brought Me Here" - and I was very disappointed. All I can say is, he's lucky he's got an amazing voice - because that was so not an amazing video.

+PLUS+ Oh yeh! and I'm going to the Australian Idol concert in January! WOOHOO! I managed to withdraw almost $700 out of my bank account yesterday just for it. Can we say OBSESSED?

Anyways, yesterday was my last day at SmartSalary. Gosh. It still feels surreal. It's hard to believe that I won't be waking up at 6am Monday morning and heading off to work as I have been for the past year or so. I'm really gonna miss the people there LOTS - they kept me very sane.

It was really sad yesterday arvo, when I got calls from some of my workmates who were in Perth, saying goodbye and all. We had lunch at RETRO which was really nice. Then we had drinks around 5pm where the Dunk made a speech for me and forced me to make one of my own. I was so close to crying man! Anyways, they all pitched in to get me a farewell present. They got me a TV HITS magazine with the top 6 Aussie Idols on the cover - how embarrassing! I also got the whole first season of ALIAS on DVD, and Vida hooked them up with her staff discount to get me some really nice gold earrings!

Cchan got me a little photo box which I thought was really sweet, and Dunk got me "The Best of Friends vol1&2". I don't think I'll be staying away from the TV for the next week!

I headed to RETRO after work with a few of the boys for drinks. My dad picked me up around 11-something and I had to fall asleep straight away before he realised that I was slightly trashed.

In other news, It was Llewol's birthday on Wednesday. I'm currently minimising what I eat today because I'm really excited about eating the whole buffet at his birthday dinner tonight! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE! My proxy birthday present for you tonight is my little portable TV just in case they're not broadcasting the Rugby at the restaurant.

Anyone wanna take me out next week? I'm gonna be so bored and free. Hm.

Okay bye!

TONIGHT I LEARNT
... that the reason I stopped attaching myself to series' was because anything that happens in it affects me emotionally

Whoever writes the scripts for ALIAS is just plain MEAN.

Good night.

WARNING! WARNING! Please keep Saturday, December 13 free. The thought of losing more of my friends to weekends away and other people's birthday parties isn't very fun.

I watched HOW TO DEAL last night. I have many issues with that movie. Watch it if you want. Love it if you want. I just didn't like how a lot of things turned out.

Anyways, I don't know what to blog, so I'm just going to write a list.

NEL'S LIST OF CRAP
* I did not play Hexic at 1am last night for an hour
* I did not wake up this morning and play Hexic straight away
* I do not go on Ringo to check if people have written stories about me
* I do not get sad when I find out noone new has
* I do not get sad when noone new wants to make me a direct friend
* I do not like anyone... like that
* I do not wonder whether, if things were different, things would be better
* I do not regret anything
* I do not think a lot
* I do not have a bad memory
* I do not wonder whether love can really be amazing
* I do not trust people easily
* I do not think Supre clothes are worth wearing
* I do not dance around my house in front of mirrors when I'm alone on Saturdays
* I do not LOVE Australian Idol
* I do not mind if Shannon wins
* I do not think my $30 worth of votes for Guy will make a difference
* I do not think that temporary "afro" around my blog reminds me of pubes
* I do not laugh at everything
* I did not write this last point just to make this list 20 points long

How's that for a whole lot of bs?

Hi. It's been a pretty uneventful weekend - with the exception of my Nix's birthday :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIX! Last night Veed and I went with Nix, Jess and CYrille to Silver Spur for some eats. Since it took them bloody forever to seat us, they gave us some free garlic bread or something - which managed to fill us halfway or something! I couldn't finish my main coz of it I reckon! But it was pretty good. We all made speeches and their staff came over to sing to her and everything! Lots of fun!

We dropped in at Macca's afterward coz he was having some birthday celebrations (so many November babies!) too. Had to check out early though because we had to be home (yes, we DO obey our parents!).

Anyways... can you tell who I go for in AUSTRALIAN IDOL? I'm going to ignore 1/3 of GUY's performances tonight - and the rest of Australia should too if they know what's good for them! Gonna pick up my $30 credit of Voda credit tomorrow to go on a voting frenzy. Does anyone else need some? Gotta vote gotta vote!

Last, but not least, please go to http://www.mhccrusade.com. If you're even a smidget interested, trust me, you won't regret it. I promise.

That's all for tonight. The rest of my week was uneventful - either that or I don't remember what happened because I'm such a forgetful *bleep*. Bye!

"I just want you to be happy"

The last time I heard those words was in the last episode of Ti3, from Stephanie to her boyfriend Anthony. Okay, so it's easy to assume that she only said it to push him toward the girl that seemed to make him happy in the video footage she saw whilst on the island.

I know I over-analyse but...

What do those SEVEN words mean to you? I think they're beautiful. I think that they can become a statement that expresses a pure abandonment of one's emotions and desires for someone else's happiness. It's a hard thing to do. I guess if you look at the big picture, and believe that whatever happens is supposed to happen then it makes it a whole lot easier. That's all.

In other news...
T'was Lilibeth's birthday on Friday, her celebrations were last night. It was a yummy night! I threw a few pics I took last night up so enjoy, if that's your thing *shrugz*

Loving these songs:
Freestyle - So Slow (Yeh Al... it's awesome!)
Rebekah Lavauney - Dance with You

PeeSouth.

Good Saturday Morning once again :)

Seems the norm for me now. Live the week, then blog it all on Saturday.

NOTEABLE NOTES
* Not very happy about Paulini leaving AI on Monday. I was REALLY looking forward to a Guy/Paulini sing-off in the finals, but I'm beginning to think that the Aussies want to pull another anti-climax and make Shannon win --> \/\/

* Took a day off work on Tuesday to study for my one-and-only exam this semester. IA was boring - and so was the exam. I hate coming away from the subject - not challenged and just as dumb as I was before the semester started.

* "John Cusack"-but-hotter isn't in my Spanish class anymore :(. He switched to the class he was supposed to be in - and the class I was supposed to be in GRR!!

* I bought the Australian Idol Final 12 Album. Don't tease me. Coz I know you all want it in one form or another :)

* Went "for drinks" with "the girls" last night - well that's what I told all my workmates when they asked me what I was doing this weekend. Here:

1. "for drinks" = Cheap dinner at Veda Bar with Minh and I being the only ones downing anything alcoholic; Talking till about 9pm when we headed down to George St. cinemas to watch KILL BILL.
2. "the girls" = Some girls + some boyfriends + Phil

KILL BILL was pretty interesting man. I'm still trying to get my head around it... and I spent 60% of the time watching the movie from behind my hand, but I'm anticipating Vol2! We needed to head home after that, so I got dropped off at Minh's where I saw her "free peeing" puppy (HOW CUTE WAS HE?). Mama picked me up shortly after.

* Got moved from the IT/Accounts/Marketing side of SmartSalary to the Operations side. A little meloncholy because it seems like Stage One of my "leaving" process. Damn.

* Decided that I need to get these 21st plans happening already. Keywords so far: dresses, marquee, bbq. Haven't got anything solid yet. I need some input-age! So be prepared girls, because I'm asking you guys FIRST!

Okay... that's all. TekketEezy. Bye!

Hola Amigos!

Spanish is good. I'm loving it. I just need to do something before next Wednesday as a serious attempt to immerse myself in the language that is Spanish!

What is NOT good is what the weather's doing right now (only boring people talk about weather... I've decided to be boring this morning =]). Weather or seasons actually. I wake up every morning at ten-to-six because the light's shining through my window so strong I HAVE to get up. Last night, before I went to sleep, I closed my curtains to attempt to get a longer sleep this morning... didn't really get that much of a benefit. I was up at half nine. Damn. Can't wait till DST kicks in tomorrow! Even though I need that extra hour to study for my IA exam =\.

So, I've managed to stay away from Blogger for a week. Damn.

WHAT'S POPPED
* Tommy's 21st Birthday was last Friday night. I didn't blog about it. But it was aiiight considering I don't like strippers and we got kicked out after 10 min! That was okay... we ended up chillin it at Darling Harbour afterwards.

* Mel's 21st Birthday Celebrations started Sundee with a mid-afternoon lunch at her house. It was quite nice. I think we spent half the time trying to get the Magic Mic to work... and in the end, we hardly even used it. The boys amused themselves with the footy over the fence, just before getting into a little handball match a little before I left. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEW!

* Monday, work then gym. Tuesday, work then uni. Wednesday, work then Spanish.

* Congrats to Uh-Lee-Suh on her new job! So excited for her! Hope it all turns out lovely for ya!

* Went for drinks with the IT team plus a few IT'ers that left SS a while back. Is it bad to feel so comfortable in the presence of boys? I think I find it less intimidating when I'm amongst a group of guys I don't really know... rather than being amongst a group of girls I don't really know. Is that weird? Oh well. We spent 2 and a half at the Slip Inn before heading to Tony Roma's for dinner. I had to check out earliest because I was the baby and needed the parentals to come out from home to pick me up! I felt all sixteen again!

* Didn't get a great deal of sleep Thursdee night. Which made Friday a little restless and unproductive at work. When I got home I SO did not want to go out. Had to though...

* Headed into the city with Nix and Veed for Mew's joint party at (minc). T'was a good night. Went kinda quick but I had fun and I hope Mew did too despite her lack of presence for a lot of the night ;). Oh quote of the night:

HANA: When did you get braces?

* Woke up early again this morning (as I said early)... and put up some CLIX. Enjoy homes. Let me know if you want more. I got stax!

*shoutOUTshoutOUT*
... to my #1 blog fan. Wuttup JASbaby! Thanks for coming to my page FIRST before anyone else's. Doesn't matter if you were lying. I'll just pretend you were telling the truth =D!

Pleaseout.

*editEXTRAedit*
Oh yeh. I'm really disappointed in someone right now. I may not be the most nurturing of all friends, but I at least have the decency to acknowledge their presence. It's really amazing what some people do for their girlfriends. All I have to say is: whOO-PSH!

Question.

Does the fact that someone who has managed to have two kids out of wedlock by the age of 25 make them more slutty than someone that's had sex with 2 or more people slept around a tonne by the age of 21 but hasn't had any kids?

REALLY. I was so upset to hear someone actually had the nerve to imply that.

*editEXTRAedit*
Oh yeh...

Do you think it's possible for someone to be so into someone they've never been with? Just asking.

Chau! Mi llamo Nelisa.

I'm really happy at the moment. Anyone I've talked to since about 9am yesterday probably knows why. All I can think about is how much He loves me. He has given me an opportunity that I've been praying for and I can hardly believe that I deserve it. I'm not looking for any pity compliments or anything... but seriously... I've got this battle raging inside me. I've fallen so often and He - rewards me? It doesn't seem fair. But I also believe that what happens in this world is His will. He has allowed me to follow this new path and I just pray that I make the most of it. I pray that I don't let Him down.

In other news, Alisa and I went to our first Spanish class last night! I'm so excited about it! We learnt just a few phrases last night. I reckon we start getting into it next week. Can't wait. Another thing good about Spanish classes is that I get to hang out with Alisa. I NEVER see that girl as much as I see my other friends. It was so fun just to have so much time to catch up on EVERYTHING! When she dropped me off, we sat in the car for a bit just talking about all sorts of things we can't talk about because of our separate lives. It was awesome. She had to speed off though.

There was this stationwagon just driving up and down my street really slowly. It got REALLY weird when it had passed at least 5 or 6 times. The next time it drove up, it switched its headlights off for a couple houses before switching them back on and driving passed us again. That freaked us out so she had to leave and I raced into my house. My mum, dad and I stood just inside my door with the porch light off seeing if the car was gonna come by again. It didn't. Then, this guy walked up the street and stopped in front of the house across the road. He sorta stood there for a bit then ran all the way back from where it came from. SPOOKY! I'm glad Al got out though. I was freaking out because she wasn't picking up my calls after I got into the house.

Okay... it's late. Buenas Noches!

Just watched From Justin To Kelly. Verdict?

It was a little cheesy for me. But that's just me. Veed loved it, of course. I did decide that I'd like to date a dancer though. There was this bit at the end where Justin *drool* did a body roll on Kelly. Sounds puncy aye? My, my did I drop!

Justin is hot. That's all. PaYcE.

Helloooooo!

'tis been a while... sorta.

My week hasn't been super exciting. Main highlights:
* Bek got eliminated from Australian Idol. I'm a little sad about it.

* Work's gotten me programming again. I was programming happily on Friday arvo - and since I was having issues, I'm gonna practise tonight if I can't find anything else to do.

* Dad came back Tuesday morning so I picked him up from the Airport early in the morning and then parked in the dungeon before rocking up late to work :) KKK came over and we watched the video my Dad took in New Jersey and we got a little nostalgic.

I want to travel so badly. I don't know where, and I don't know who with. I don't know a lot of people who are REALLY up for some serious travelling sometime next year or the year after. I was talking to my Ate Christina today and she said that her 6 week trip to Europe set her back $10k++! Her advice to me today: Don't buy yourself a car. Don't waste your money on that - invest it and travel OKAY!

Oh yeh, the 21st is back on. Probably start planning at the end of the month.

I'm going to learn Spanish starting next week! Alisa signed us up late last week and - we're in! I'm really excited man!

Do you guys know how to FLIRT? Coz I was thinking about it... and I'm not sure I know how to do it. And even if I did, I'd feel super unco! Like, there was this time a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my friend and, in the back of my mind, I asked myself "Am I flirting??" You know what? That made me cringe! I'm sure I've done it sometime in the past - but really, what's its purpose? Because I link flirting directly with courtship nowadays. WEIRD.

Okay, that's it. Byebye!

*editEXTRAedit*
Okay, I don't really have anything else to talk about, but I thought you might want to know what else is going through my mind...

* Kellyville has deteriorating radio signal. When we went there today, I was thinking "It's be nice to live here coz it looks cozy". Thing is, it's far from everywhere and - the radio goes all crackly... what's the mobile network signal gonna be like!? Damn.

* Oh yeh, when I roll out of bed now, I see my reflection. My wardrobe doors were replaced with sliding mirrors so my room looks bigger, but unfortunately, you can't walk into the mirror (my mind's weird isn't it?). I'm about 90% finished putting all my clothes and stuff back in there.

* Renee Geyer looks a bit evil. She said something negative about AI - does she not know that Bekbek (you people are dirty) made her song popular? I don't know about any of you other Bek fans, but the first thing I did after she got eliminated was download "Heading in the Right Direction". I think Bek sings it better. But Renee isn't bad. She's quite good actually. Blues is cool.

* Upcoming events: Tommy's 21st next Friday. Mew's 21st celebrations on the 19th and the 24th! Mew, I've got a tentative speech man. I think it's about 2 sentences long because I don't want to waste brain power if I'm not gonna use it. I'll just write it in your card =)

* Hilary Duff is so HOT!

* Kelly Clarkson makes falling in love so exciting. "Miss Independent" - not really... but "Before Your Love" and "A Moment Like This". Damn. The path to finding the next Mr. Nelisa is gonna be hard man. If he makes any first moves, I'll think CONFIDENT! straight away. Problem is, I'd never make the first move. I look like I'm gonna be picky... I reckon I'll end up settling. You can't be picky without options. HAHA.

* ADORE2004 is coming... and so are all of you!

* I'm sleepy. Bye!

... and II: You.

I'm sorry for making you feel the way that you do. I think our problem stems from lack of communication. I find it really difficult to open up to you completely because of what's happened in the past. Y'see, I still feel like I'm rebuilding lost trust.

You don't know how many times I've felt the exact same way about you.

Just to keep this short... You're not a worthless inclusion to my life. I guess we just need to put everything in the past way behind us. Like I told you before, it's hard to re-form a relationship when memories of bad past experiences are still in the back of someone's mind. Let's just move on okay?

As for what was wrong with me when you asked - that's behind me now. I don't feel comfortable talking about it - that's why I didn't want to expand when you asked me. Sorry if that made you feel worthless.

Okay... Peas hun... <3ya.

It's funny when you listen to a song and hear what other people hear when you talk to them:

I'm not tryna mess with yall today man/ I know what yall gon try to do/ Tryna hook me up with him/ And let me talk to him/ Nah man I'm not... no/ I don't wanna experiment and date around/ You know I just want one guy/ I'm not, I'm not with all of that/ You know, meeting people/ And testin' the waters/ And stuff like that/ No, I just, I just want to date one guy/ And see where it goes from there

There's no reason for me to do what you want me to/ That's the truth/ Wanna chill by myself and its cool/ Despite what you may think/ Cause I say/ When the time is right/ The real thing will come into my life/ And until then I'm so satisfied/ And happy with me

Excuse the grammar, but wow.

My thought for the day: The strength of any kind of relationship is determined by the effort parties put into it

I guess it doesn't have to be a great effort, just an effort both parties are comfortable with. I know that some of the relationships I have require more committment, while others are strong without so much nurturing. That's all. Bye!

II: Neex, Uhleesuh, Veed.
Contrary to anything I've told you recently, I'm not strong. That scares me. But you know what keeps me going? Your faith in me. I'm holding onto that so freaking tight right now. TTYL.