great.

Oh I've read your blog! You're wearing sunglasses in your picture!

Thaaaaaaaaaaaanks David.

Too bad

Memories feed the mind and not the heart - where I want you to be

... especially the purest ones.

Does anyone else agree that Australia's Brainest Kid is better than grown-up trivia shows like Temptation? It's probably because I'm not all that great with grown-up general knowledge and I'd only have a chance competing against kids 10 years younger than me =]

Dad: When your mum and I were going out, I used to correct her grammar all the time
... silence ...
Mum: No you didn't! I was good at grammar!
Dad: Yeh, you were. I was making that up...
Mum: I know. I knew it.

My parents are silly.

Last night: Hana's 23rd Birthday Party @ Parramatta
Very enjoyable night - even if I had a real bad headache for most of the second half of the night. I loved being in first class - even though, according to Hana, we were f*cked. Dress up parties are great when most people get into it.

I'd show you pictures but my camera was out of batery once I got there :(

Gotta reconstruct my week this week. Copacabana next weekend! Seeya!

... a realist, masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist

Although... writing that gives the secret away... haha!

Must Love Dogs

It's different for me, I've already had the love of my life

Brings you an inch closer to understanding the whole "companionship" argument. I often wonder whether I could do it - I really don't think I can. Ask me again when I'm 30 and single... I might be singing a different tune by then :)

It was a good movie. As good as romantic comedies get, I suppose.

'Tis been a good week...
* MP Recruit
* Watched Dr Zhivago in 4 sittings (it's hard to watch a movie on a laptop lying down - you just fall asleep!) - and then seeing Jake Anderson watch it in MLD ... very cool!
* Dinner at Chinta Ria w/ Minh, Mamo and the partners
* Got to my class on Thursday night and realised I was a day late - oops!
* Drinks @ Senate with the Mac Girls after work on Friday
* Dinner at Wagamama with Veed

Very excited about Hana's party tonight... just gotta find my dress.

It's sad when you realise you've got "friends" that claim they're friends with you but would not hesitate to bring you down if you were ever one up on them. I've had my share of enemies and people that sh!t me in my time - but I'd like to think we're adults now and that we don't need to resort to such adolesence.................. for anything!

Pet peeve of the week/month/year: People who speak over me, ignoring anything I have to say. I thought conversations were two-way. It's amusing how some people call/talk to me with the sole purpose of telling me how excellent they are. Whatever.

It benefits me some anyway.........

This is so random. Out.

eyes lie... i think

I've always maintained that I believe that the eyes are the window to a person's soul - what they think, what they feel, what they want to say. Today, I decided that - maybe, just maybe - they lie sometimes. Not full-blown lies, more like little white lies to avoid being interrogated or pitied or to hide the truth.

I dragged myself into work this morning, feeling a little heavy. When I got to my floor and greeted my workmates 'good morning', one of them looked me straight in the face and said "okay, you look way too happy to be at work". It was a comment that surprised me because I wasn't nearly as happy as he made me out to be. I think my eyes are out of order.

Today was a good day, though.

I enroled for my second SIA trimester yesterday. One subject this time - I don't want to feel the weight of two again.

Weekend looks like a good one. We're treasure hunting on Saturday! That's exciting for me. I really should get some rest for it.

Seeya on the flipside!

PS. I had waaaay more stuff to talk about. I forgot though. I need to start writing things down again...

ew ew ew!

Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes
Changing Faces - Don't Cry For Me

So Tuesday nights are a little boring. I currently have two downloaded movies on my PC.

• The Amityville Horror, and
• Sahara

For reasons I don't want to share, I decided to start watching Amityville Horror over Sahara tonight. Not even 5 minutes into it, I was scared. I went onto rottentomatoes.com to see reviews on the movie. Turns out, although it's better than the original, it's not fantastic. Then I checked the movie again and I realised I had downloaded the OLD movie. Craaaaaap.

So... while Return of the Jedi continues to download I decided to watch Sahara anyway. Imagine my astonishment when I played it and the words "The secrets of Kamasutra" flashed on the screen. Shift-Delete. Gross... so foul.

I'm soooo scared of downloading movies online now. I've only managed to download one movie successfully - In Good Company. Oh well... no movies for me tonight...

I did put a bid on a DVD though. Hopefully I get that......

Any recommendations? Preferably one that came out before this year so I can actually download it (I'm too impatient to download anything too new).

Seeya!

exhale

Hi.

C1 - Distinction
C2 - Credit

You were right. You're always right. I am fine.

Out.

white noise

Wendy Matthews - I Don't Wanna Be With Nobody But You

Anne was awesome last night - and I decided I reeeeeally liked that song. It was in my head all night... it's in my head right now.

My sister and I are watching the Idol verdict. It's just gone to a commercial break and a preview of numb3rs came on. The preview showed how the show was going to be about how a clown kidnaps a little girl at her birthday party. After the commercial, Veed goes to me "Why did they take her?" I just looked at her.

I'm tired. Good Night.

PS. White noise is good. The Mac girls showed me that today.

Spring ?

My sister's sick, so somehow she took my room last night. I had to sleep in the colder back room last - which is cold coz there's not heater in there. Somehow, I couldn't find my pyjamas so I put on my tae kwon do pants and a coral singlet. That was my miscalculation for the night.

I was cold. Before I knew it, an hour and a half had past and I couldn't get to sleep. That was painful because I really was sleepy... just really cold too.

Where's Spring at?

That's it. I'm still sleepy.

Happy Father's Day!!

ack

Yep. Still alive...

The problem with not blogging is that now I can't looking back a few weeks/months/years to see what I was doing on a particular day. Or I can't read what I was thinking when I was going through certain parts of my life.

So what of the lack of blogging in the past few months?

I don't think I can really bring it down to one reason. There's a multitude of reasons why I don't blog. I haven't even really thought about it to be honest. I just don't, simple as that.

I wonder if people even bother checking this page anymore...

So things that happened in August:
- 2 exams in 2 days: probably failed one but whatever...
- Finally got to spend some time with MM&M. We did a night out to 12 Spices then karaoke'd using my new chip at my house
- Went on a Comedy Cruise with the grads out on the harbour. Really... not funny. But the rest of the night was good
- Performed for my Ninang's 50th Birthday
- My Uncle Bimbo came over from the Phils and did a concert in Mt Druitt
- Had a family get together at Kimmy's house. I love my family

There's probably plenty in betweens there...

Oh yeh, my biggest news: I have a new laptop! His name is se7en. I got him after Qpac decided to give up on me. Qpac's on warranty though so we're getting him back, but then he'll just be my sister's. se7en is much smaller... I laaahv it!

Ok that's it. I'll be back in a month =]



Just kidding... I'll try to come back sooner... Bye!

seven deadly sins

(I got this from the back page of last week's New Idea)

Gluttony - What's your favourite food?
If it's possible, I'd have prawns with everything.

Greed -What was the last luxury item you bought?
Probably my first, and possibly last, Country Road pants suit.

Lust - What do you lust after?
Happiness... y'know...

Pride - What are you most proud of?
Probably what I've managed to achieve - academically, personally, career-wise - up to this stage in my life.

Sloth - When are you at your laziest?
Probably straight after a uni/college assignment or exam. Also, if I'm waching TV boxsets (FRIENDS, Alias... and now Full House), I'll stay in front of the TV for hours.

Anger - When was the last time you lost your temper?
When this pretty girl started sweet talking the guy standing in front of us at D&B just to push in behind him. I don't think I lost my temper, but I was MAD. Oh, and when Mike made like he knew what made me happy, and I didn't. I BURNED.

Envy - What brings out the green-eyed monster in you?
I know it sounds silly, but I envy people that have qualities I wish I had - like being carefree, having a better memory, assertiveness, courage, and the list goes on...
I'm not one to turn into a green-eyed monster though. I just burn BAD inside.

Ok I'm out. If you haven't seen them already, my pictures from Hawai'i are up on the Imagestation. Later dudes!

circumlocution

The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language

That made me laugh...

aloooooha!

http://hawaii-oh5.blogspot.com

long time

It's good to be back. Though I don't have much to write about in the short amount of time I've got to blog. I'll come back later... maybe.

I updated my quotables even while bijooh was down. I reckon quotes are mad. The ones I post give a little insight into my head most of the time. They probably say more than what this junk I write on this side says...

Later!

my crazy world

I decided this morning that it's only because I believe that this world is crazy, unpredictable and messy that I'm able to accept the nonsense around me. Very few things in my life, and in the lives around me, make actual sense. Some people reckon we should be following a safe, rational and uncomplicated road. I reckon I thrive on the world's dubiety. Obviously, there are parts of my life I want relative stability in. Relationships and career, for instance - even with those though, I need to periodically take risks to mix things up.

I sound crazy, I probably am. I love it!

Later!

it's been a while

Jojo - Never Say Goodbye
Kelly Clarkson - Some Kind of Miracle

Two and a half weeks to be exact. I wonder if that's brought my blogs per week figure on my profile down...

I suppose the biggest news in my life right now is that I'm back at school! Feels strange, yet familiar. I'm once again sitting in a lecture room (well, it's the size of a tutorial room actually), struggling to stay awake, scribbling down nonsense in my notebook - but this time the content isn't language syntax, IT project management or IT solutions. We're being flashed graphs, and getting told what all sorts of financial bodies do. Lots of theory. Feels a bit like a hybrid of high school economics and university accounting. Joy. Thing is, as the lecturer is talking, all that's going through my head is a mantra saying "Just read the notes later, you're better off reading the notes later". So, there's gonna be a day... sometime in the future, where I'm actually gonna have to sit down and eyeball all these notes. Sigh. Content isn't too bad though, I must say. Hopefully things get a little more interesting.

The holiday's coming closer and we haven't sorted out accommodation yet! I think that's on my current TODO list.

The MBL ASM was on last Friday night. It was an awesome night! The venue was great, the entertainment was fantastic, the drinks were awesome and I'm told the food was good too! Photos are up on the i-station. I went home pretty much after the party ended. I decided to wear high heels that night... so my feet were too numb for me to continue partying.

I also had a movie date with Nix on Saturday night to watch Star Wars Episode 3. Excellent movie - even if I've only seen one other Star Wars movie. I'm aiming to watch the trilogy in the near future... when I could be bothered. Anyone wanna hook me up with the DVD's?

I've got this unsettling feeling of contentment right now. How's that for an oxymoron? I suppose I've just seen, as well as experienced first hand, disappointment that skews my belief in complete happiness in reality. Thing is, I've also seen wonderful things happening for the people around me - my uncle about to finally get married to someone we all really love, for example - and I remember that a life in fear of bad things that could happen could stop you from experiencing the good things in life. And that's why I bolded "contentment" and not "unsettling" at the beginning of this paragraph.

Bye!

conferred

I graduated on Wednesday. It was a hectic day but well worth the sore back I had at the end of all the various graduation festivities. What I enjoyed most about it was seeing everyone from my life at uni altogether. It was awesome - I even saw someone I seriously didn't think I'd ever see again after first year! Anyway, pics are up on the i-station if you wanna have a squizz. What I really wanna blog is the message in the card my parents gave me this morning (3 days late of course hehe):

Be proud on this day
for the things you've accomplished,
the way you have grown,
and the goals you have met.
Look now to the future
and face it with courage,
and don't waste a minute
of life on regret.
For the future you'll have
will be just what you make it -
be true to yourself
as you follow your star,
For you have the power
if you choose to use it
to reach any dream,
so remember - reach far!

I was touched badly.

Which brings me to what Hoa, Mel and I were talking about on the way home from the post-Graduation dinner - fate. The lengths to which we believe in it, depend on it, use it to reason. I don't really believe in it - which means I don't really depend on it. What I do do is use it to accept the past, or use it to avoid taking risks. Sometimes nothing anyone can say can explain to you why things happen the way they do, why things don't go the way you'd hoped, how things are going to be, how things should be. This is when I temporarily "believe" in fate to accept that things happened because they were meant to and also, that things will happen the way they're supposed to. Of course, once I've completely accepted the past and moved on, more rational reasoning replaces fate. As for the future, I do what I can to get to where I want to go... then I free fall and see where I land.

Something else I want to share from the book that I'm reading on and off:

Fragonard depicted love as a game for the young and innocent, in which both parties knew the rules. But there were no rules anymore. Noone was innocent; they were guarded and cynical, anxious to keep their options open, wary of being trapped yet terrified of missing out.

Interesting.

That's all for now. Bye!

four

Watched the first two episodes of ALIAS s4 this evening.
I missed Alias.
I missed my girl. It's funny how I still think I'm her.
I missed - omg - Michael Vartan! He's still yummy.

Anyway, the weekend's been a bit of nothing - bar Friday night when I caught up with the girls and whoever we met or tagged along. It was a good night, even if I had to check out early. Ah well...

Three days till GRADUATION! I've already got my outfit picked out - should be good.

Meanwhile, I'm just cruisin'. It's been interesting. Laters!

tidbits

Things I Never Wanted to Hear in the Bathroom

NEL: *picking up toothbrush*
DAD: Oh. Is that yours????????

I almost fainted.

Seeya in my Dreams

So the other night, I had a dream about Lisette. Of all the people I could have a dreamt of, I dreamt about Lisette. I dreamt that I visited her at her place and we just caught up and what not. It was nice, and I had a pretty solid memory of it when I woke up. I commented on her blog and told her about my dream then she e-mailed me to tell me she dreamt about me the same night! FREAKY AYE? I thought that was interesting.

My New "teddy" Equivalent

Some people need to sleep with a bear, a doll, others need to sleep clutching onto a pillo at night. For a week now, I haven't been able to go to bed without holding onto this synthetic stress ball type thing. I didn't realise till last night - when I had to get up and turn on my light after I had gone to bed because I couldn't find it anywhere on my bed.

Living Life

Someone told me last night that I tend to talk about life as if I'm not actually living it. I found that rather unsettling. He told me that I spend a lot of time... trying to figure it out. I tend to disagree with the assertion though because I do live it, I do ride the ride of life - there are just some people that see life at different angles, that like to step out of it and try to look at the bigger picture, that desire to discover its meaning and wonder where it's all leading. I'm one of those people. I've been accused of over analysing once or twice... but I just find the living part of life a lot more meaningful and fulfilling when I've reflected on it a bit.

Ok that's it. I'm gonna bloge-mail now =) Tata!

the family meeting

Tonight, when I got home, the family had a meeting to discuss the events coming up in the next couple of weeks:

1. Mother's Day
2. My Graduation
3. Mama's Birthday

We had a meeting that almost went for an hour discussing what we'd do for each occasion, when the activity will be, who'd be coming and, if necessary, what food to prepare. It was such an interesting meeting - emphasising parts of each person's character...

Daddy - indecisive, asks a lot of unrelated questions, doesn't want to be involved in the decision making process unless we're going to Rosehill Bowling Club to eat, drifts off and comes back when we've gone far enough that he'd be lost, asks questions about things we've already decided.

Mama - listens to the arguments quietly, inputs when necessary, accomodating, easy going, the mediator.

Me - impatient, unconcerned with details, procrastinator, short attention span, stresses out when there's too much going on, will settle for the first decent suggestion.

Veed - accurate, pushes organisation, plans with a sense of urgency, pro-active, likes to summarise decisions, likes to volunteer to cook her baked potato, detailed.

It's not the Brady Bunch is it? I love the family.

Oh... I'm going to HAWAI'I! More later... Bye!

word vomit

What are they doing? Doesn't matter, I can't see anyway. I wonder if they can see me. Woah I think I'm slouching. Sit up. My arm's itchy. Should I scratch it? Might as well - the itch is travelling all the way down my right arm anyway. Now my left arm is itchy. Or is it? Maybe it's just jealous coz my right arm got a scratch? I'll scratch it anyway. Why am I still itchy? Maybe I'm allergic to my lotion again? Wait, I was never allergic to my lotion - I was allergic to night time. That was after I got back from the US. Maybe the US air has something weird in it. Uhoh I'm leaning too far to the left. I bet that guy thinks I have a crush on him coz I was practically lying on him. Idiot. Guys are so full of themselves. I'm gonna turn away just to prove I don't give a crap that he's sitting next to me. I'll cross my legs the other way. Oops, kicked away my gym bag - and now I'm uncomfortable... and my leg's showing. Crap. Ok recompose - stand up, adjust your skirt and sit back down. Now my back's itchy. I can't scratch it coz I'm wearing a jacket and any attempt to scratch won't help the itch at all. I might even make it worse. Stuff it. I'll just bear it. Now... what day is it? Wednesday - already. Excellent. What's to do on the weekend? Oh yeh, I remember. That should be fun. What did I do last weekend? Oh yeh, I remember, heh. When's my credit card bill due? OMG TODAY! Wait... relax, it's taken care of. Where am I right now? Oh right, got it. My lips are dry. Should I lick them? Nah, that'll just make it worse. Wait, I have vaseline. No I don't, I lent it to Veed this morning. I'm sleepy. Wait, why is it so cold? Where's that light coming from? Right. The sun - better put on my sunnies. Ok sun's behind a cloud. Now I'm just wearing sunnies in the dark. Useless. Why can't I stop moving? Ok better sleep, time will go faster that way...

I'm always so anxious, a bit flustered, a bit agitated, a bit excitable. I don't know why. It's like I don't know how to sit still without my mind wandering off to different places, entertaining so many thoughts at once. I can't stay in one position without feeling uncomfortable or rigid. I need to move. It seems, though, that even when I find a position I'm comfortable in someone needs me to get out of their way, I'll cramp up, my shoe will slip off, my calf will itch, my back starts to hurt... SOMETHING will give me a reason to readjust.

Which is why things are so strange right now. Without uni, my life's become a routine. I tried to mix it up by taking up salsa classes every week and, more recently, going to the gym after work. Still, I end up sitting and staring when I get home wondering whether I should be doing something more. This is then why I need to go back to school. I may be graduating two weeks from today (!!), but I'll be back in class a couple of weeks after that. Should be fun.

When the year 2005 started, I promised myself it'd be a good year. I had just finished uni, I was going to be a permanent employee at work, I was going to meet tonnes of new people through the grad program, I was going to pick up some new hobbies, I was going to be empowered and good things were going to happen for me.

It's almost May. Almost a third of the way through the year. It's just flown by. So many things have happened, so many things have changed, people are changing, I'm changing, everyone's doing their thing... I wonder whether I'm keeping up. Once again, I wonder whether I should be doing more. At the end of it all, I decide that life's a ride, and I'm going to ride it. I think I end up happier that way.

On a completely unrelated note, someone who doesn't really speak to me much at all just asked me to help them with their homework because "they know I'm smart". Not even a "Hey, how you doin?"
More often than not, I'm more than willing to help someone who needs me with things they can't handle. But when you know they're just using you... *sigh* dust it off Nel, dust it off

[/babble] Seeya!