How many different kinds of weekend can you have?
Coz you have the ones that are real lazy, real crazy or a little... eh.

I'm trying to decide which category of weekend the last one falls into...

On Friday Night, we watched our first stress free AFI presentation. It was... interesting. Almost leading to the tasteless side though. Bjorn dropped me off at Mt Druitt for the Vigil. I love it when it hits midnight and all the girls rock up - it's amazing, the energy they have that late at night.

I spent half of Saturday catching up on sleep from the previous night.

Did I tell you about Thursday night? Well... I was working on my PMQA assignment with no energy and motivation because I just felt really burntout. I thought it'd be a good idea to have a coffee at 9 o'clock at night. Very dumb. I hardly slept that night - and that's the worst! Shutting my eyes so tight and hoping to wake up at 6am but realising only half an hour has gone by since the last time I checked... hmph.

I had some PMQA mojo on Saturday arvo though so I made up my own PERT. A little proud, a little sceptic about its correctness but at least we have something to go by right? No more rough sketches in my notebook. By the time I finished, it was already 8pm. The rest of the night went a little like this
* Nikkie's 13th Birthday Party - Dropped in, ate, dropped out
* Therese's 18th Birthday Party - Dropped in, felt old, ate because noone else was, taxed some food, dropped out
* Was gonna drop into Danny's 21st but apparently they'd retreated to go bowling earlier in the night... craaaaaap.
* Went with Nix to meet up with Vin, Al and their friend Stephanie
* Karen's 21st Birthday Party - Dropped in, amused ourselves, felt very boring because those people are way too crazy for us, dropped out

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

The family had lunch at Viaggi's today... okay. As yummy as the food was - the hour plus wait we had to endure was not worth it. I have so many issues with that cafe.

Ok... gonna play the waiting game now. BYE.

When a parent finds half a case of beer in the car that they didn't buy, what do you expect them to say? Well I expected a little "Did you get drunk? Did they boys get drunk? Did they take advantage of you coz you were drunk?" talk - but my dad is different. Good ol' Daddy asked one thing only: Why do your friends drink lite beer?

Since I talked about my dad, I might as well mention that my mother is a pretty bad grocery shopper. I was putting away the groceries just then, and as I was putting away the two-pack paper towel package, I find there are 5 rolls in the kitchen waiting to be used. 1..2..3... Oh mum!

Oh yeh, and with my tedious PMQA assignment in mind, I asked my mum "So mum, do you use PERTs at work?". Wise words from my mum, the project manager: "Oh yeh! But I don't read it, it's too big" Nice to know I'm learning something useful...

*editEXTRAedit*
Great.

I just checked the provisional exam timetable and one of my exams falls on 29 Jun - a day when I'll just settling into NJ, USA. Not to mention that my other exam falls on the 24 Jun - the day before I fly to LA, USA. I can deal with that... I don't know what to do about the other exam! Lucky I'm not so slow that I missed looking at the provisional and was looking at the final *phew* I guess I gotta do some rearranging on Monday. Sorry SEF folk... I'm gonna push to move the exam up a bit :)

That's it.

Running in this weather is very liberating. I took my trusty mobile radio with me just in case I got unmotivated and I ran for about half an hour. Eventually I hope to go for hour runs because that'd just be GREAT. Too bad I don't have the time for it these days =
Meanwhile, I got rejected from ANZ. Even though I didn't want it much, rejection never feels good.

I can tie my hair up now... there are still bits of hair that fall to the side, but I don't have to put as many bobby pins in it anymore.

I smell really bad right now - I don't like this post exercise aura thing.

ALIAS isn't on tonight. Damn. Yeah... like Shanghai Noon is going to make me feel better about not seeing Episode 14 (apparently Will's first "OH MY GOSH" episode).

I think I'll take out the rubbish now. OOH memory! Veed told me this one - features her and my cousin Francesca (Cheska) from Seattle, USA.
Veed: Ok Cheska, just put it in the rubbish bin.
Cheska: (so confused) Rubbish bin?

HAHA... that's it. If you didn't get it... then it won't be funny if I explain it... but basically, the American's don't call it rubbish and they don't have rubbish bins. They have "trash" and "trash cans".

Ok I need to wash this stench off me. Laters.

I was just at Mindy's blog and she's used the word intense to describe the past couple days.

I can barely disagree with that because, like I said earlier, there's so much going on - and there's not enough time and patience on anyone's part to sit down and rationalise anything that's happening around us.

It's something that Alisa and I kept repeating in our *timecheck* 4 and a half hour d&m yesterday. It's all been happening in the past few months and all that anyone wants to do is SCREAM and make it all go away. But, you know what? I think it's in the most difficult times in your life when you realise who's down and who's willing to stick around.
* They're the people who rock up and can sit with you in silence while you recompose yourself and try to be each other's strength
* They're the people that tell you they wanted to call you because they could see the desperation in your eyes
* They're the people who blurt out "Hey, gotta go" to the person on the phone when you walk into their room red-eyed
* They're the people who know what's wrong without you saying it
* They're the people who say it like it is...
* They're the people who make sure you're not being stubborn and close minded - and give you an earful when you are
* They're the people who believe in your strength...

I'm feeling a little better after everything that's gone down...

I just want to say that you didn't hear the most important part of the sentence, and that upsets me. But, you know what? If this situation makes you happy, so be it. You're right, you've got some really beautiful people around you - that's all I ask.

apparently, i'm dillusional
apparently, it's better for someone to lie to you than to tell you the painful truth
apparently, wanting to be friends with lots of people is wrong
apparently, caring isn't enough
apparently, you can be friends with someone even though you resent them
apparently, it's ok to have selective hearing
apparently, assumption gives more credibility than fact
AND
apparently, i'm supposed to understand that

It's been a looooooooooooong week. I don't have the time and energy to go through it all so let's do it like this...
* Doing my sysprog assignment at home wasn't an option because our phone line was out - so I slept over KKK's on Tuesday night so I could finish it
* An abundance of sleep hasn't occured within the past five days
* I was up on Wednesday night doing Accounting Presso scripts. Then I responded to an SOS so I didn't sleep until 1-ish
* I was up on Thursday night because Tommy said that girls are... like that... once 2am rolls around
* I was up on Friday night because if I closed my eyes, someone would call me a dog and wake me up
* I was up last night because we celebrated Mamo's 21st birthday
* The accounting presso was great... the expected hiccups were present but we got a positive response overall
* My accounting team is the best acounting team in the world
* I like the way Nix checked up on me on Friday night ;)
* Mango gelatissimo is fantastic - a larger cup would be like eating mangos forever!
* Alisa and I d&m'd for around 3 hours today, where d&m = talking + crying + laughing + bluntness + memories
* I have a mid-sem to study for and I'm 0% done
* Veed reminded me that if He takes me to it, He'll take me through it
* ... I just need to find His hand right now

It's been a difficult week. I've been through every heightened emotion you can think of... and now I'm tired.

SEEYA.

Christina Milian - Someday One Day

When you have lots of alone time - you think, right?

Well, I have lots of alone time. So I think. Sorry.

So I was driving home from my one-on-one rehearsal with Mamo (Canterbury Road is looooooong) and I was thinking about how you only realise how bad things were after you step back and evaluate what's happened. Ok, no matter how you read that, it will not make sense...

Let's try that again....

I reckon, in life, you've no doubt got bad episodes. Those times when you're in some really crazy cycle that you can't get out of. You're not thinking clearly, not making decisions properly and you're just digging yourself a deeper and deeper hole. The deeper you get, the harder it is to climb back out again. It's only when you jump out of the hole that you've dug, walk away, and look back that you begin to wonder what on earth possessed you to stay in that hole. It might be because that hole was safe. The hole was yours... and to walk away from something that made you feel good, something that was comfortable, something that was yours - is beyond difficult.

*edit*
I had a bigger spiel here... but I figured it can all be summarised by saying that I hate being messed with - and I think I've just been messed with.

Oh yeh, and the best type of friends are the friends that want to listen to you. They're the people you want to listen to.
It sucks when people don't bother asking how you are, worrying about you - because somehow, there are more important things to life.
*ENDedit*

In other news...
- I saw Kill Bill V2 last night with Nix, Mindy and LL squared - quite good. Not as good as V1, but still.
- I went to Fay's 18th Birthday last night - people need to know how to control their mouths man. I was looking around, met eyes with some girl and turned back around because i don't like eye contact. Then she blurted out all this profanity... loser.

I just wanna say a few things:

1. ALIAS is too good. If you don't already love it for its action - love it for its use of words. Something that really hit home tonight: "Your kindness tortures her"

That hurt. It really did. Because it's true. It happens. The times you have be strong when someone you care about is being nice to you, sweet to you, kind to you - when really, their kindess rips you up inside.

2. I love my friends. I really do. Something that I've learnt is that - it hurts when they don't know that... or they don't believe it.

3. My dad always tells me that I'm the elder one in the family for a reason. Something about me possessing the qualities to be a good big sister. I wonder whether that applies to everything. I wonder whether, if I wasn't the way I am, that my life would be THAT different. I wonder whether, if I switched around my priorities, things would pan out the way they have. I wonder what'd happen if I was like everyone else.

Recently, I learnt that it is our ambitions, our expectations of ourselves that stress us out. I wonder whether, if I didn't expect so much of myself - or if I didn't want things to be at the standard that I want them - whether I'd be more content with less.

I fear that. I fear restricted options - I fear regretting not putting my all into things.

It's virtually official. I know it's a bit anti-climaxish... But I'm excited about it.

That's one less thing I need to worry about this semester :)

Out.

Oh my goodness.
I've spent most of my day off at home watching Kev's prelim version of our "All I Need is You" commercial.
Can't help but just laugh at the whole thing - it actually looked like we were having fun!

I LAAAAHVE IT!

PS. My Tita from LA called and she's telling me how she's planning what we can do while I'm staying with them for 4 days in June. How exciting! She's planning to take me to Universal Studios... and shop out the outlets! WOO WOO!

*editEXTRAedit*
neyl says:
    friends is so funny
8-) says:
    yeh thats what we could be nel
neyl says:
    bags being rachel
8-) says:
    no nel...you gotta be pretty
8-) says:
    =]

>Feeling a bit... helpless.
Past couple of days have been a little bit hectic... in terms of uni work. It's gotten so bad that I've neglected 3 of my 4 subjects when I've got assignments just as trying due real soon! I'm probably not going into work tomorrow because it's so bad. Which means of course that I should make up for the work I'm missing out on somehow. I've got priorities though - and an important one is to GRADUATE.

Friday night, we had an informal group meeting for accounting. It turned out okay. We planned what we were doing the next day (yesterday) and just went over other bits and pieces we needed to clarify.

Yesterday was pretty fun. It was a long day, a tiring day... but I'm pretty happy with what we got done. Jos and Henry picked me up an hour late (= ontime filo time) and we went to get Minh and Tommy for our first bit of video shooting for the day.

Minh, Tommy and I hung out in the breakout rooms for what felt like almost an hour filming Tommy's "Warren for Virgin Mobiles" skit. My tummy was sore from laughing, and I suppose a little sore coz I was hungry too! Since we were running late, everyone met up at uni instead of Maroubra (which was going to be our next stop). Llewol and Lylie came down too coz they were in the city checking out the GP sale. Since we were altogether, we used the TAFE footpath to shoot the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" introduction sequence. I was so proud of the boys! They looked so slick and they were so enthusiastic about being gay men (although they probably looked like a bunch of models instead of gay men). It didn't take us too long to get that skit complete, coz let's face it, they were just walking. So we went off to Maroubra.

Maroubra is such a beautiful beach. Pity we went there primarily to do uni related stuff because it'd be a fun day if we just chilled out there the whole time. Wasn't too bad though because the commercial we were shooting - dubbed "All I Need Is You" - really just consisted of us chilling out. So we played volleyball and frisbee for a while. We went closer to the water to build a sandcastle to jump onto as well! They were so proud of it though that we were planning to just dive over it because we didn't want to ruin our creation! But it had to be done. In about 2 takes, we demolished our beloved sandcastle. We wrote in the sand, ran away from the waves and we even built a human pyramid! That was tres cool. I think we got enough footage to fill in the 2 minute commercial we're planning to have!

Everyone started leaving and the sun was out... so Minh, Dave, Bjorn and I decided to stay for a little longer to take a swim. The waves at that beach were monsterous! I had to boob check everytime one hit me. And sometimes, the strength of my body (which isn't much really..) wasn't enough to hold myself up... the waves was soooo strong!

Anyway, we had to leave eventually. We dropped Minh off at Town Hall coz she was going up to St. Leonards then Dave drove Bjorn home and me to Groove - which I couldn't get into because I'd come to late! Argh! What a waste! Despite the fact that I sooked so much about having to go, I was a little upset that I didn't get to. Don't tell anyone I said that.

Had an early night last night. Seeya!

The past few days...

MOST 'made me jealous' MOMENT
Talking about ALIAS at metcentre
m1: Oh Nel, you have to see episode 17!
m2: EPISODE EIGHTEEN!
m1: I haven't gotten that yet! Is it out?
m2: Yes, it's the best! Oh my gosh!
m1: Episode 17 was the best! It was so, 'yay' - 'oh no' - 'but yay'
m2: Watch Episode 18!

... and it was about that time I decided to block my ears because I was almost certain I was going to burst.

MOST 'ick' MOMENT
I think there must've been something in my lunch today, or in the BOOST I got afterward because I felt crazy sick tonight. It's gone now after I had dinner... but it wasn't good at the time...

MOST 'i am fit' MOMENT
Running to and from Mimosa Rd from the gym without getting really tired

MOST 'get me out of here' MOMENT
Sitting in a room for over 3 and a half hours doing a bunch of psychometric and aptitude tests

MOST 'hurting the vocal chords' MOMENT
Singing along with Sheryn Regis on my taped version of her singing Come on in out of the Rain

MOST 'thats what you get for being nice' MOMENT
Leaving an hour later than planned last night because I had to get some mods in for today's release - and making Lowell wait with me

MOST 'gosh Im a midget' MOMENT
TIE: Walking between m1 and m2 + talking to Danny standing 2 steps lower than him

MOST 'thats what I get for seeking comfort' MOMENT
Seeing "not your usual type of skid marks" on the toilet seat of the disabled toilets *shudder*

MOST 'Im going to be poor' MOMENT
Reserving my flight to the US in July. I've only done the SYD-LAX-NWK/JFK-LAX-SYD legs too and that's setting me back a good lot already! Haven't even thought of the NWK-SEA-FLO trip yet!

MOST 'whatta bunch of girls' MOMENT
Veed, Kres, Kut and I making an unsuccessful attempt at putting up a volleyball net. Lucky Bjorn came to save us!

MOST 'good sleep' MOMENT
Sleeping well before 9pm Monday night... waking up bright and early to do a gym session in the city.

MOST 'teeny bopper' MOMENT
Agreeing to go to groove...

MOST 'manipulative' MOMENT
See above...

MOST 'ouch' MOMENT
Veed: That must kill *blahblahblah* I can only imagine what it's doing to you. (ok so that's a bit censored)

MOST 'thats sweet' MOMENT
X: I'm willing to, and don't laugh when I say this, take a fall for you

MOST 'not a waste' MOMENT
Sitting around for an hour thinking about our PMQA assignment with no clue - then coming up with, what we thought was, a very good third of a WBS

MOST 'what a waste' MOMENT
Right now. Because I should be doing some homework *doh*

Ok bye!

SCENE: Veed and I were sitting around with our cousins Kim, Kris and Kate at Ate Dana's son's Christening reception. Us girls are getting a little maternal and we're planning the exact time we're all going to try and conceive so we all have a batch of kids around the same time

Veed: Y'know what's sad? It's so cool having you guys as first cousins, but when we all have babies, they won't all by first cousins. Well, Ate and mine will be, but ours (gestures towards our cousins) won't be *sigh*

Kris: Awww... why?

Kim: WHY Kristela??

Yep. We thought that was funny.

Last night Nix and I road tripped it to the city for my first clubbing experience since Jess and Therese's back in December last year. T'was quite an okay experience... mainly coz there were lots of fun people around and all right? I even made some new friends (Joe reckons it's coz my hair had so much volume) AND we went club hopping. Okay... so we only went to one other place for 10 minutes... but still! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA, PAT AND TONI RAE!

Nix and I had some good d&m's to and from the city. I love that. Because sometimes, you have problems that you can't really talk to anyone about for one reason or another - it's just nice to be able to do it with someone so comfortably.

I had so many mixed emotions going through me last night. It's funny coz, last week, I was so happy. I was at this stage where everything seemed to go so good, so positive. I was Hawaii bound, a Mac grad position was in the cards, I had zero to worry about. The past couple of days have just been a little hard on my head. I don't know what's going on in parts of my life - where some of my relationships are going, and then there's another things that's gonna change - not in my life, but I feel like it'll affect me indirectly... it's just all happening. Just gotta learn to deal right?

HAHA... I just send something fun in MSN:
neyl ; no grtr love says:
    i'm ashley judd (in someone like you)... a bit of lorelai gilmore... and a bit of sydney bristow

... well I reckon I am :)

Ok bye.

I was gonna post today. But then I realised the post I did last year today is pretty relevant. So... refer to that, if you can find it.

Actually, you know what? I'm really upset. I guess in times like these, you realise where you stand. You realise how valued you are. I know where I stand. Actually, I've always known it. Even if I was told otherwise. Actions speak louder than words. That's all.

Christ suffered for you and left you an example, to have you follow in his footsteps. He did no wrong; no deceit was found in his mouth. When he was insulted, he returned no insult. When he was made to suffer, he did not counter with threats. Instead, he delivered himself up to the One who judges justly. In his own body he brought your sins to the cross, so that all of us, dead to sin, could live in accord with God's will. By his wounds you were healed.
- 1 Peter 2:21-24

O Lord our God, you are worthy
to receive glory and honour and power...

For you were slain;
with your blood you purchased for God
men of every race and tongue, of every people and nation
- From the book of Revelations

For our sake Christ was obedient, accepting even death, death on a cross!

statusCheck

* Fit, happy, healthy
* Two of my girls scored interviews and I'm tres happy for them!
* The uni onslaught has begun
* I'm feeling a little confused
* Tuesday's ALIAS was excellent
* At the CAREERS FAIR yesterday, I decided there are a number of other places I want to apply to - don't know if I want them
* I wanna sing 'Feelin' Way Too Damn Good' at Mamo's 21st
* Going for my first psyche test next Thursday hmm
* I have to go to the toilet

Aite bye.

It surprises me that my body isn't tired from my lack of rest the past few nights.

Thursday - out at midnight + up at 5.30am = 5.5 hours
Friday - all-night vigil + out at Sat 8am + up at noon = 4 hours
Saturday - karaoke till 3.30 + out around 4am + up at 9.30am = 5.5 hours

Ok, it's not as bad as other people's sleeping records. But I don't think my body is used to that.
Thing is too, I can't sleep any more than I have. Weird, and actually not very interesting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UHLEESUH! (for yesterday)
When I got home last night, I realised I was out for a whole 12 hours for that girl! I popped out at 4pm Saturday to meet Ana and Vin to buy Alisa's present (and score myself some discounted shoes from JAG) then headed straight for Al's to chillout. We talked, ate, played with Pogi (her new dog), went back to my house because I forgot the adaptor for my "Any Sing" and returned for a nice 3 and a half hour karaoke session.

Karaoke was fun last night, as usual. After the non-karaoke-enthused team retired for the night, Vin, Al and I went off again. We discovered that we all had different ranges and combined our voices to turn our individual scores of 88, 90 and 93 into a combined effort of 96 in Run To You. Good fun.

That's all for now. Seeya later!

Wanna hear something... exciting?

I'M GOING TO HAWAII!

Not yet... in November... but you know where ELSE I'm going?

I'M GOING TO NEW YORK and FLORIDA!

THAT'S in July...

I'm so excited! Very excited. There's so much to plan - so much money to lose - so much to do!

That's it.

*editEXTRAedit*
My current Aloha! TODO List:

• Bronze on Waikiki Beach
  
• Go to Pearl Harbour
  
• Go Kayaking and Snorkelling
  
• Learn how to Hula
  
• Go to a Luau
  
• Take pictures in front of a sunrise/sunset
  
• Get laidlei'd (I had to make that joke)
  
• Hook up with an exotic Hawaiian boy (thanks Nix)

Any other suggestions??

I had a mood swing today.

I had one of those train rides where all my thoughts were muddled and I was a confused mess. I just have a lot on my mind, I suppose. I need to flush some of this out of my head so I can think clearer........ but for now, I'll just blame PMS :)

So, if you came to my blog earlier today, I was quite the angry person. I had a lot of bad vibes in me. But I've turned it around and what's in my head is the following:

The pain when I cry or the happiness of my heart are proof that I'm living and not just existing

That really makes you appreciate every single emotion you feel. Every sorrow, every joy... it's all worth something.

Oh and we say it over and over again - things happen for a reason

A bit of wisdom that makes you appreciate everything that happens to you - good, bad, ugly... it has to happen.

Good to know. Bye!

Example of a girl's complicated and prolonged thought process...

Why I chose to publish this post...
I made such a funny joke today, so good I want to tell everyone about it
That's a bit loser though - who DOES that?
Ooh Mindy does!
But then if I do, I'd just be copying her...
Shut up, the joke's way too funny!

*editEXTRedit*

Ok, I've nixxed the joke because when I re-told it to my sister, she didn't laugh lots =
But this is way more worthwhile. I've never read a more interesting post on dishonesty.

Ta-ta luvz!

Mary J Blige - Sweet Thang
Stevie Wonder - Isn't she Lovely
Kyla - I Feel for You
Yolanda Adams - Never Give up

... add to that My Anthem

Beyonce - Me, Myself and I

Ok so WHY can't one day just be perfect. If CityRail waited one day before sending me the letter implying "I don't care if you left your ticket at home and proved it to us, you're still paying us $200 coz we need to pay our drivers more or more trains are gonna be cancelled"

I'm so mad. Do they think I've got money coming out of my nose? Gosh.

So anyway, back to my really exciting day (when I say exciting, of course, it's only really exciting to me)...

I went to uni and handed in my first bit of assessment for SysProg. 10% down, 90% to go. The lecture was really crap and the tutorial was useless because I didn't learn anything in the lecture. Good huh?

*FASTFORWARD*
After walking out of the tutorial because it was useless, I headed up George St and over to State Library because I needed to get going on my Northern Star Holdings Ltd insolvency assessment for AFI. Can we say...

I LOVE STATE LIBRARY

I had so much fun there. I spent the first half an hour tirelessly filling out resource request slips on ANYTHING that had to do with the company and found out we could only hand in 3 at a time and wait 25 minutes for the resources to be available. So when I managed to get on an e-Resource computer, I looked the company name up on their SMH searching thing and I got 44 articles! That really boosted my faith in our Insolvency project - seriously. I just need to find a way to get the team into the library (or another library that gives them access to articles in 1990) to read all 44 articles. I used those microfilm readers for the first time! They're very, very cool!

When I left the library, I was on a high. I pranked Mel coz I needed to have a one-sided vent - but then I remembered she was at uni Wednesday arvos, damn. So I was slightly surprised when I got a call from a Private Number soon after. Sucked in to Lowell who had to listen to me profess my love for the library.

I went in for my *free* flu vaccination at Mac (had to change from my slippers to smarter slip-ons coz I didn't wanna walk into Mac with tsinelas!) and ran into Danny! Damn, haven't seen that guy in years! We caught up for a bit and he pointed out that the nurse who gave me the vax hadn't given me a bandaid, and as a result, I had a little smidget of blood on my shirt - ew!!

On my way to the station, I heard that Mindy was in the city for Eric1's birthday so I decided to do some mini-catchups before going home. We had a good little catch up by BOOST Juice. Mamo and Minh came and they all got to listen to me declare my love for the library too! Mamo psyched me up to sing at his concert again - so now I'm thinking Kelly Clarkson's A Moment Like This a few key's down so I can reach the last verse hehe. I noticed that the Veed was pranking me crazy so I decided to leave with Mamo who had to leave early too. Good arvo.

... and it all got spoiled by that annoying StateRail fine! ARGH! Okay... I just realised I haven't done my homework for PMQA tomorrow =\ OOPS!! Catch ya later!

Ok so I didn't get home in time for the beginnig of ALIAS last night... but I'll live. I just missed most of the battle of words between Lauren and Sydney. That woulda worked me up for sure! So tell me guys:

Lauren or Sydney?

What really annoys me about Lauren is her accent. The fact that she's got some British thing going but she's trying to sound almost American and she's still got twangs of Aussie in her. Mate. Can she please get killed off the show by a fire or something?

Anyway... since my life revolves around my thoughts my two favourite TV shows - and you've heard more than enough of my thoughts and my favourite Ch7 TV show, listen to my ponderings triggered by my other favourite TV show:

#1 - So Joey and Rachel. That was an interesting story. But something stuck in my mind - the way they couldn't really stay together because they were so close that they felt like brother and sister. Then they questioned how Chandler and Monica got together and Monica said something about how the two of them weren't close enough to feel the awkwardness that Joey and Rachel felt.

From that, I got that maybe the ideal situation of becoming best friends with someone then falling in love with them, like that, isn't really possible? Like reckon it could happen without all that awkwardness? I'm now thinking I've got this thing where I want to be good friends with someone that I'll get with, but now I don't want to get close enough that it'll feel sibling-ish.

So what should it be then? Friends first? Attraction first, then work the relationship later? And if you choose the Friends first option? How close do you get? Hm.

#2 - Mike proposed to Phoebe on Monday. Made me want that. That's all

#3 - Just something that got me thinking tonight from 'My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance'. Randi's mum went to talk to her brothers and her sister because the three of them didn't want to be a part of the wedding. She said something along the lines of:

"Do not turn your back on someone just because they disappoint you"

Before that, she said that she'd never stop supporting any of them if they disappointed her.

Made me think about the way I react when people in my life 'disappoint' me in one way or another. It's so difficult to deal with someone close to you doing something that doesn't, in any way, shape or form, sit well with you. What do you do? Are you supposed to just take it and support them? How far do you go to change their mind? How far do you go to knock some sense into them? What if 'knocking sense into them' really offends them and the friendship suffers? It's a bit of a tricky one. Any thoughts?

Ok, yes, I'm a TV junkie. Cheers dears!

I'm sitting on Lvl 10, 77 MP @ my mum's desk. I just got off the phone with Phil who is still at work. Well he's not working which is slightly less workaholic, but still, he's at work! I was playing on GOLD and looking for people I knew. I gave Lish a call too but her phone rang out and there was no voicemail for me to leave a seductive message in the morning (anyone that's heard my voicemail message at work would know why my messages could be labeled 'seductive' lol).

Don't tell anyone I'm a loser.

So, the weekend was quiet which is always good. The most noise was probably at Brandon's 1st Birthday Party on Saturday arvo. That's because there were lots of little kids and lots of people. I can't believe that boy's 1! I can't believe that he's about to have another baby brother or sister either!

The second noisiest affiar on the weekend was a pretty sub-dued karaoke night with Minh and Mel at my house. We were practising for Mamo's concert which should be happening sometime soon but none of us could think of a good song to sing. Well... I can't anyway.

LOOK AT THE TIME! It's almost 8pm and if I'm not out of here before 8.30pm, you know how antsy I'm gonna get coz I might miss ALIAS!

PLUG because it's got a good review on "The Passion of the Christ".

Anyways, I have uni tomorrow *groan* Mindy reminded me last night that I'm a FOURTH YEAR Damn. It seems like it was just yesterday I was meeting the then fourth years back in second years and thinking "Woah... still got a long way to go till I get to their stage!" But now, I'm one of them... then. How old does FOURTH year sound?

I can't wait till this is all over. Then... I might do a post-grad... KIDDING! Well, maybe. I'll analyse my drive when the time comes.

Ok team, I'm gonna go surf the net on Phil's Internet account! Seeya!

PRIORITIES

What are yours?

I was thinking about the way I live my life. How different would your life be if you just shift a few of your priorities? This goes with a quote I had a few months ago from one of Stacie Orrico's songs:

"You can be who you want to be. But whether you do, whether you don't, depends on your PRIORITIES"

I think that's so true. When you come to a fork in the road of life (ok... that sounds sooooo inspirational book-y) and you have to make a choice, how do you choose? You prioritise, no? You choose the path that really matters, right?

Then say you make a choice. Then you look back and start questioning whether you made the right decision. Does that mean you got your priorities wrong? Maybe not wrong, but maybe you didn't know and understand your priorities well enough to make an educated decision.

Who/what is it that you plan your life around? Is it self-satisfaction, career success, education, family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, some higher being? Which factors of your life can cause other factors in your life to be disregarded or rainchecked because it holds a higher priority? Do your priorities make sense to you?

I thought I had my priorities all figured out. It was only on Sunday that I realised what my #1 priority in my life had to be. It goes without saying, but it's the only stable factor in my life. The only aspect in my life that always makes me feel safe, that reminds me that I'm loved. Isn't that the kind of path that we all want to take? The path that's stable and never-failing? I reckon this factor is different for everyone - but regardless of what this factor is, I believe that this aspect of someone's life that they hold as their highest PRIORITY needs to be something safe, right?

I don't know where this all came from? It's been on my mind the past few days. It's just interesting to think about, I reckon. Whether you're clinging to something strong and something that won't ever fail you.

This is the kind of stuff that goes through my mind. This is where I vent it. Feels good. Ok bye!

Nothing's ever gonna change the way I feel
The way it is, is the way that it was...
When I said I do
I meant that I will
'Till the end of all time
Kenny Lattimore & Chante Moore - When I said I Do

That's the song I was alluding to when I commented on Mindy's blog today. It really does have some beautiful lyrics but the verses just hurt it.

Sorry for the neglect aye. I've been pretty busy - I think. I figure that's a good stock excuse for not blogging for those who check in on me every so often.

Ok... so the happs:

I saw THE PASSION of the CHRIST on Wednesday. I'd review it but I've read two good reviews on it already - and those two pretty much sum it all up. But I guess for completeness...

I really liked it. I can't say I enjoyed it because watching it stirred up so much sorrow and shame in me. THAT'S what I believe it was about. We all know the story... but the Bible tells it so briefly. The Bible said "... and they scourged Him...". What did everyone expect? I don't know. Some people were touched, some people were heavily blinded by doubt and by all the controversy surrounding the film. People spent so much time looking for hints of anti-Semitism that they didn't see His mercy, and His love. That's what I think the movie was about. It was LOVE.

"There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" John 15:13

What happened after that day...? Oh yes, I saw the girls on Friday night for a bit. We went to some hotel (location check?) lobby to have coffee and just talk. Apparently, I forgot to pay for my drink - OOPS! Sorry guys... next round's on me! How embarrassing is that? Anyway, I couldn't stay long because I had to meet some kids that came up from Melbourne for the weekend. We heard mass at Homebush, bonded, then retreated on home. That night Claire taught me how to do morning and evening prayers using the brieveries - that stuff's amazing!

This is how the rest of my weekend panned out:
SATURDAY
* PostADORE2004 Recollection at Homebush Saturday morning to around lunch time. We chilled out till everyone had to go to watch "The Passion..." again (some of the Melbournites hadn't seen it yet).
* I didn't get to go because I took a stroll down the street to Bernadette's 21st Birthday Party. That was lovely. This is a girl I practically saw grow up. We don't get to see each other much unfortunately but I can seriously say she's one of the best friends I could have! We both live very separate lives... and I saw that when I was at her party. She had so many different kind of friends (cute American International Students *drool* and their girlfriends *rollseyes*) AND she's become a really sexy dancer. I was making eyes at her from my corner and my my does that girl know how to shake it! I was so jealous! She reckons she learnt how to dance from me - I think NOT! I got up there and there was NO WAY I could move my hips the way she did!

SUNDAY
* Just had a prayer meeting in the afternoon. Had a cake for TEEEEEEJ and then retreated to Cy's to chill till we had other places to go
* Went to Menard's house, invited the rest of the youth and hung out, watched the boys play ball for the rest of the night

MONDAY
* Left the house at 6 to go to Church and send the Melbournites back home =(
* Cy, Penny, TJ and Bianca came over and we watched Fighting Temptations. I think we all fell asleep at some stage during that movie. There was a point when we were all lazing around the house just sleeping because the weekend that PASTED (sorry, Minh... had to do it hehe) didn't allow for lots of sleep.
* Went to my first Uni lecture. Can we say 'boring'? I had to resent to making comments under my breath to Mel (who sat in on the lecture - I don't know why she put herself through that misery! LOL) because that was way more interesting than hearing about Software Engineering Issues.

TUESDAY - Went to work.

WEDNESDAY was today. I went to uni again for my only class where I am nigelated. I managed to walk in half an hour too early because I thought my class started at 11.30am. I realised I was in some "Network Servers" class after a minute and I proceeded to excuse myself out. How gay is that? Anyway... sysprog is currently boring. I'm vowing to learn vi sometime soon because using gEdit just doesn't look cool (and by "cool", I mean "geeky") enough - plus Llewol reckons using anything but vi makes you fake.

After my lecture, I called my sister to claim her because I had noone to chill with at uni. Uni's crap when there's noone to chill with. I'd go with Minh but I think her class finished much earlier than mine did. I went to Parra with my sister to shop because I don't have enough clothes for uni in my wardrobe :( PLUS I want a bag - PLUS I want new shoes. Ran into Alisa and Alex so we caught up on the L5 Foodcourt where Alex gave me some quick vi pointers. See? I'm DETERMINED!

Ok... that's all you guys need to know about my life for now. I had something else to blog about... but this post is long enough. BRB!

Ok I need someone to break my heart. I need to be able to sing Brian Mcknight's One Last Cry about someone because when I saw Camile Velasco do it tonight - I was star struck! She's like USIdol3's version of AI's Bek LaVaunay! How cute is her little sister too? Remind's me of John's little cousin, Vivian, from a few weeks ago! I'm so glad I started taping the Top32 Episodes tonight!

Thanks to everyone that commented on my last post. It was all very enlightening :)

Just came back from a weekend away with the famz at Terrigal. My face is at a constant temperature of warm because Veed and I were so desperate to turn a few shades darker that we nixxed the sunscreen for a while. Lucky it's not as bad as the sunburn from Boxing Day last year. That was pretty bad.

Oh yeh... and on the good new front: I scored a casual job at Mac so I can work during uni! I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing because there are so many things on my plate this year... but I'm sure I'll get through it. If I can't take all the work, there are always ways to offload some of it right - temporarily, that is.

Does anyone else want to watch THE PASSION of the CHRIST? It looks so good! Seriously. When you've got a director that believes so much in the movie and its meaning... you've got to expect a product that's going to trigger so many different emotions. I'm really looking forward to it. Anyone that's interested in watching it with us on Wednesday 6.30pm @ Penrith... let us know!

Ummm... that's all I really have to say for now. I better get some shuteye. Peas out.

I'm at work at the moment... but I'm interested in what everyone has to say about this...

Seriously, I want to know.

What would make you lonely?

... then with an answer in mind:

Would you avoid that situation that would make you lonely AT ALL COSTS? If so, how would you do this?

If you come up with one... I'd really like to hear about it. Ta. Bye!

*extraEDITextra*
Why does the concept of lonliness almost always relate to relationships of the romantic type? What does it mean for all the people that never find their special someone? Does it mean that they will be lonley?

I have issues with that. I find it hard to accept that it is every single person's destiny is to find someone to love, like that. It's that kind of socially accepted attitude that ultimately makes people that don't find someone feel lonely isn't it? I don't know. I just have issues - because that influences people to invest time in looking for someone and then possibly finding someone that might not be right for them. What can happen then? What could happen is that these people might hold on to something that isn't right for them. People are stuck in physically or emotionally abusive relationships because of what they think is "love" (love doesn't HURT) and because it's just so scary to be on their own.

Something I think that is more damaging to someone's life than just not finding the right person to love, like that - is the sort of thing that people have commented about on this post: Not having the people that you really care about around. Not having your friends and your family around. Not having them around because you've pushed them away in one way or another. That's pretty sad.

Oh yeh... and Mindy's comment sparked up a new question in my head:

Can someone that cannot and will never be yours be someone you're meant to be with?

FINAL COMMENT: I truly believe that there will always be someone around to love you. I fear the wrong kind of love. It'll come for who it is intended - there's no need to search.

PS. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong. There are some things I might be know I'm blind to.

Ok if you couldn't be bothered reading my spiel down there about where I've been the past couple weeks... then just read this stuff that I've been meaning to blog but haven't...

I'm amazed about the power of HOPE. Veed and I were talking about it last week, and so many people - myself included - often make decisions, or put themselves into situations because of HOPE. Have you noticed that, if you wanted something that you couldn't have... but still had a smidget of hope left in your heart that you might eventually have it one day, you hold ever so tightly onto that bit of hope?

Does that make people like that, pathetic? Does it mean that they can't let go of their foolish dreams? Does it close their heart to other paths in life because they're still hoping that the path that they want to follow will open up for them one day?

I don't really know the answer to that. All I know is that, when I don't let go, it's because deep down in the smallest corner of my heart - there's still hope. No matter how foolish I may seem, even though the odds are against me... it's really hard to let go of that hope.

I remembered this week why people have best friends. There's something about the way they restore your integrity, the way they remind you that you're worth more than you think, the way they open your eyes to the things you refuse to see - without even really knowing it - that keeps you going.

That's all. Bye!

Happy Schmalentine's Day Everyone!

I've been MIA for the past 2 weeks on this thing huh? Well... tonight, the night where every couple's doing cute kisses and telling each other that they love each other, I get to stay home :) Nah it's cool though. But I'm here because... well you can only watch so many FRIENDS episodes in one night. I'm already up to Seaseon 6 (minus Season 4 - coz my mum bought it for me in the US)!

Anyways... I guess I have to tell you what's the happs been for the past two weeks huh? Okay okay...

I'll start with the weekends coz they're always easier to re-cap. Last Friday-Saturday was the first Friday-Saturday of the month so I spent Friday night-Saturday morning at church. It was really awesome coz so many of the youth made an effort to make it since it was gonna be our last vigil with Cor & Bobby. We stayed up most of the night... around 3-something the girls fell asleep in my van and the boys managed to stay awake till morning.

Last SaturdayDay, I trekked it to Parra Park with Mel for Ed's Farewell BBQ! Achievement of the day? I know how to play frisbee! I'm not very good at it... but whatever, at least I know how to play! Gonna miss the Ed-sta!

Last Saturday night we had a dinner with the more senior MHCC Sydney kids + Steph from MHCC Melbourne. We had dinner at Carne Station in Parra after Veed and I waited and talked in the car for almost 2 hours! After dinner, we retreated back to Cyrille's house where we played, hands down, the most fun game of Taboo EVER! Have you guys realised how fun that game is? Well... it is! The evens won that (YAY!) and we ate the odds in Pictionary too! I think it's because Cor and I were too overly competitive! HEHE

Sunday was very... emotion-filled. We went to Cyrille's house again for our last MHCC meeting with Cor and Bobby. It was really beautiful. Then we just hung around, ate a very well deserved lunch, and a bunch of us went to Good Shepherd for mass together. It was a loooooong day. As much as I'm terrified about what we've been left with... we're gonna keep going... keep going!

Last Thursday night we had Farewell Drinks for the summer students that finished up their summer program with Mac the following day. Even though I'm still gonna be working there for another couple of weeks... it just felt like the end of an era or something. It really has been an awesome experience - a part of me really wants to stay!! We'll see...

Last Night was pretty fun! I met Minh and Mel after work for a girl's night out. We went to dinner at Savana's... we stayed there for a couple hours - the only reason we left was because it was so obvious they wanted us to go already (they were packing chairs up and EVERYTHING!). SO, we spent another couple hours parked in my van (we love vans) just talking about whatever. It's so good to have catch-ups like that! Especially when you don't get to see your friends in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of every day life y'know?

Today, Mel and I made a last minute trip to the City to get our hair straightened! I miss walking through the Central Station tunnel! I'll no doubt be doing lots of that in a couple weeks *sigh* When we got to the hair salon, we found Dee sitting down getting her hair done too! Damn how coincidental right? Anyways... 5 hours later, my hair is shorter but....... a guy could probably not tell the difference. You know what? A girl would have to touch my hair to find out it's been straightened because when they'd done half my hair, it looked pretty much identical to the half of my head that hadn't been straightened =
... oh deja vu "Nel, you spend $x to make your hair look exactly the same as it did before!" Hm.

I think that's all. If I remember more, I'll tell ya later! Okay bye!

Happy February all.

End of the weekend. Tomorrow begins the start of a whole new week - woohoo!

It was Cat's 21st birthday party last night. I managed to cop me a new dress while roaming around Parra in the morning. When I got there, I realised how bad I was at choosing a dress to match with the occasion OOPS! Whilst everyone was frolicking around with black, red, pink or neutral colours, I managed to rock up in a light blue dress. Felt very left out =
It was a very beautiful night. Food was great, venue was great, visuals were enjoyable too.

After Cat's... was fun. It's funny how, as you get older, the more low-key your "after-parties" become. We planned to take it to Dave's and watch a DVD - now that sounds semi-cool right? When we got there, we discovered we couldn't do that coz his brada was watching some other movie. Soooooo, we did something that might just qualify for semi-semi-semi-semi-cool...

... we sat in Joe's van, talked, debated, listened to CDs and............ sang along to them!

Weirdest part is... we did that for around 2 hours or so. Gee we're cool.

Okay, well I'm being more productive with this site (sort of), so there are pics from Cat's up now. Seeya!

Top of the mornin' to ya!

Gosh, end of January already! That means 2/3 of summer is gone :(

Love to the January babies: Cruz, John, Geoffy, Jjenn, Uncle Vic, Uncle Bimbo, Cathryn, Olivia and anyone in the first half of January because I don't have a good memory and I didn't store any birthdays in my phone then.

Weekend of 21st celebrations - 1 down, 1 to go.

John's 21st (to which I wasn't invited, but I was) was last night at Sheraton on the Park. Ritzy do indeeed! I initially rocked up in jeans and realised I was very underdressed when I got there to find noone in denim at all! Luckily, I brought a spare pair of capris just in case.

Buffet was awesome! I think I was close to food heaven that night!
Speeches were really great too - I think you know a speech is a good speech when even people who aren't close to the celebrant are enjoying it as much as anyone else. I don't consider myself real close to John or anything... but I learnt so much about him last night through the speeches :)
It was a spectacular night! WOO WOO!

Anyways... this post is mainly to let ya'll know that I put some pics up. Enjoy! Bye!

Alisa doesn't want to be the only one publicly and shamelessly declaring her love for AUSTRALIAN IDOL... so let me just tell you...

THE FINAL12 CONCERT WAS AWESOME!

No joke... I think I'm gonna count those 2 hours, hands down, as one of the happiest 2 hours of my life. The minutes after it was over were definately one of my saddest times - realising that it's probably over.

Is that obsessed enough? HEHE.

Anyways, I don't have time to blog lots but I'll leave you with a picture of my favourites:
- The ones whose albums I'd shamelessly going to pump out of my Commo
- The ones who attributed to the sore throat I had when the night was over
- My Australian Idol loves....



LOVE LOVE Bek & Levi!

* in other news...
To guest & mw: TFC = The Filipino Channel. We get it via TARBS here in Sydney. That's all I know!

To everyone who reckons I'm too adamant toward my bitterness about relationships and love:
Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
I learned a while ago that kind of thing
Never happens for me
And so I go around
And just pretend
Love is not for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face

Sometimes I sit at home
By the phone hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
Not like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends
I’m into other things
Because you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

It’s not an easy thing
Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth
It’s not the life that I would choose
But what else can I do?
If he don’t love me
If he don’t want me
I’m not about to sit around
Let myself go

To Alisa: Thanks for the song!

To ya'll that are wondering who he is: He doesn't exist... so stop guessing.
Seeya!

Ok... Lea Salonga just sang to her new husband on TFC tonight at their wedding.

It... was... beautiful. SHE was beautiful.

I'm in love.

I'M BAAAAA-HAAAAAACK!!

... back to reality
... back to problems I left behind
... back to less people understanding why I say things I say
... back to the playground where I need HIM more than ever
... back to home sweet home

To be completely honest (and I'm sure you can pick it up up there), I don't want to be back.

The last 4-5 days
... I felt so secure
... I felt so peaceful
... I felt so normal
... I felt so strong
... I felt like I was invincible - and that's because I felt Him with me, around me, with all the people around me

ADORE 2004 was AWESOME! It doesn't get much better than that guys. I wish you all experienced it too. It really was beautiful.

Anyways... some crap:
* When I see MAGIC EYE pictures, the bits that are meant to be popping out are popping in and vice versa. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm long-sighted. It's really interesting though - well not to the "Queens of Interesting" Veed&Kristela but Kate and I thought it was cool

* Kris is really crap at tennis. She can run (without hurdles), she can sing, she can dance... but she can't play tennis!

* Walking down Bourke St, Melbourne with a 500 strong crowd full of youth is really amazing. We stopped traffic mate!

* Melbourne freeways are really organised

* The drive to Melbourne via Hume Hwy is way too long...... and way too sickening for the weak in stomach

* Some people, not matter how much you try to talk to them, refuse to change. Sucks when you get to the point where you just have to let them go and wait for them to open up their hearts

* Sometimes... I don't know why what I do or say upsets people. I think it's a fault on my part - but it's hard to change when they don't tell you that you've upset them. Am I supposed to just read their mind?

* I need to change. I want to change.

Let's go back to Melbourne in April okay? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? Thanks.

That's all I can say right now. My tummy is full and I need to move.

Tata!

Hi everyone :)

The reason I go to people's blogs is to be updated on their life... see what they've been up to. I don't think I've been giving anyone who has the same interest in my life that sort of update lately so here goes:

We had a Summer Student Breakfast Thursday morning to meet three new starters in one of the other Mac Business groups. That took up a good part of the morning - the part where I'm still trying to wake up.

After work Friday, I met up with a few old workmates and hung out at RETRO until my sister was drunk and I stunk of pub.

When we came back local, we drove straight to Hoyts to watch Cheaper by the Dozen with the KKK. That's a pretty good movies y'know - you'd think it's be heaps cheesy but it's actually pretty funny! Chillaxed with the cousins afterward exciting ourselves about the Melbourne trip...

On Saturday I deserved a pat on my back for my housework efforts. I did a few loads of laundry and cleaned up a bit before heading out to Bicentennial Park for some fun in the sun. Course, I didn't do much in the sun besides try to tan... but it was a nice get together kinda day.

Rocked up to Cruz's later that evening for his 22nd birthday (TWENTY-TWO!). I don't remember much from that night - apart from what was, hands down, the most enjoyable karaoke run EVER!

Vin, Al and I were AWESOME! It was so much fun because it was so carefree and we weren't holding back at all. I've never had so much fun karaoke-ing! After a couple hours, we decided to go through the songs properly from A-Z - singing every song we knew. We're currently up to "I"... can't wait till we continue that! Got home just before 3am. Which meant I didn't get much sleep because...

Dad woke me up around 8am to go to Church. Goodness. I spent the rest of the afternoon re-watching ALIAS Season 1 (which I got back from Alisa at Cruz's) before FINALLY taking down the Christmas tree with Veed.

It was around 8-something when I decided I was gonna make a late entrance at Pat's BBQ. There wasn't much of a BBQ going on when I got there though. I just made it in time for a few card/dare games which saw a bit of ass-grabbing, licking and kissing. HAHA. It was all in good fun though - we knew when the dares weren't appropriate. I don't think anyone was drunk enough to to do anything too crazy.

... so that was my weekend. Now I need to finalise my packing coz I'm leaving for Melbourne in less than 5 hours!

SEEYA!

QUESTION:

Can you have achievement without challenge?

I woke up to this today:

Take me to your heart
Show me where to start
Let me play the part of your first love
All the stars are right
Every wish is ours tonight, my love

Pity those who wait
Trusting love to fate
Finding out too late that they've lost it
Never letting go
They will never know the ways of love

Got to believe in magic
Tell me how two people find each other
In a world that's full of strangers
You've got to believe in magic
Something's stronger than the moon above
'Cause it's magic when two people fall in love

I may never know
Why I need you so
All I need to know is this feeling
Handle it with care
We were born to share this dream, my love

All I have to say to the second verse is - bite me!

I'm half joking. It is a beautiful song after all. But let's just sing about the love between the two people in question and not about 'those who wait'. SHEESH.

So what's been the happs...
* Met up with Michelle and Divina to watch LOTR:ROTK since Mel hadn't seen it on Tuesday. When we got to Hoyts, the session we wanted was FULL. You'd think that by this time, everyone that needed to see it, had seen it - so people like Mel, who needed to see it but hasn't had the opportunity, can see it whenever they want. Goodness me.

* Had lunch with some Mac girls on Wednesday to catch up and all which I thought was nice.

* Went lawn-bowling (yes, I know... shut up) at Paddington Thursday for some inter-bank action. It was a social event organised by HR of about 5 investment banks. It's not as bad as you think. Lawn bowling is actually a fun game - beats aqua golf, let me tell you. Plus, I suppose the presence of wine helped relax the game hehe. Met lots of really nice people from the other banks - too bad that's as much inter-bank action we're gonna get for the rest of the summer!

* Went bowling with the filos last night. I'm a crap bowler - but Nix is crapper =D. Retreated to City Extra as per always for some quick eats before going home.

'tis been a good week. Seeya'll next week!!

the Pimp Factory

... goes without saying ya'll. The bitch is back.

Oh... and Erik Santos is so bloody beautiful. He's the winner of STAR-IN-A-MILLION - The Philippines' version of Idol.

I don't care what anyone says...
- KURT NILSEN is NOT my World Idol (c'mon Tommy... help me out here!).
- No WAY does the WHOLE world like that type of music
- My money's on Norway paying out all the nations, with the Muslims being too good to submit :)

* stellz .. [ i f . i . a i n ' t . g o t . u ] .. i didn't mean it i was only JOOOKKIIINNNGG!!!!!!!!! says:
     he needs to borrow our braces!!

According to my ALIAS calander
- Today is "Day After New Year's Day" in New Zealand................ DUH!
- Sydney Bristow's CIA PROFILE says Languages: Numerous - you think they'd be a bit more descriptive
- I left for America this time last year

*randomCRAPrandom*
- Love Actually is a stupid movie about people who think they're in love for a montage of reasons
- The beach is the best place for relaxation
// TODO: Get gidi-cam pictures developed

The End. Goodbye.

Happy New Year!

20-oh-4 NYResolutions
#1 - Keep God first... ALWAYS
#2 - Less procrastination, more do
#3 - Be a good role model and friend to those who depend on me
#4 - Leave Sydney at least 3 times: January, July, November/December
#5 - Stay happy, stay positive, stay healthy
#6 - Learn to spend wisely, not impulsively..... more
#7 - Graduate with a graduate position

If 2004 will be like New Year's Day...
* The closest people to me will be around - my family and my best friends
* Old friendships can always be rekindled - we all grow up one day right?
* I'm gonna get to go out and stay in less
* I'll continue to come home 2 hours after I tell my parents I'll be home
* Lots of beautiful days - rain, hail or sunshine... every day we have is precious

FINAL NOTES
* Love is not a game
* You're never really alone when you feel the most alone
* A world without secrets would mean a world without lies - how good would that be?
* Someone will always read into something you say/write
* Movies about love do not entice me - at all
* Lists are always easier to read

Daz it. Bye.

This is how I'm doing 2003 this year:

RESOLUTIONS
From here...
Can we say... satisfactorily resolved?

THE YEAR IN REVIEW
* The dawn after giving up Tequilla should be the time you might as well swear off Vodka
* Drunken highs are not worth the morning-after hangover
* Dunkin' Donuts serves the best coffee
* I hate how America is a whole plane ride away
* Family Reunions are the best
* Ligaments never heal - so don't mess them up
* Skiing for a day means hours and ho urs of memories
* Clubbing is the same the first, second, third and umpteenth time
* Pictures = Memories
* Still not sure how catching Sadam helped decrease terrorism
* If you try once and fail, trying again means just being prepared and trying for the first time
* ALIAS is the best TV show
* George Bush reminds me of Arvin Sloane
* Watching Australian Idol really entertained me
* Independence shows you your inner strength
* Faith keeps my eyes open
* Prayer is real power
* I have friends that never let me down
* I have friends that make me cry
* I have friends that make me smile
* Anger is not pretty
* I live an impulsive life
* PMS is real
* Lies that make me smile are okay
* Gymming is effective only with a positivity
* The Krispy Kreme atmosphere is better than the donuts
* eBay is addictive
* The year of 21sts mean LOTS of parties
* I am still human... I still make mistakes... weren't so bad this year!
* Resigning from work generates the same amount of anxiety as breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend
* Hexic is the only fun computer game
* Christmas is the only day that's happy EVERY YEAR

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
Under construction...

Checkin out of 2003! It was fun! Seeya in Twenty-Oh-Four!

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Ever had something to say but can't because it'd make things weird? So there... that's how I'm expressing myself tonight. Thanks.

First and Foremost:

MERRY CHREESSSMASS!

Just wishing you all a safe and blessed Christmas this year! REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON YA'LL! He came to be our salvation. God gave Him to us for that one purpose. Let's all celebrate our Lord Jesus' presence in our lives and in our hearts. Happy Birthday Jesus!



Now Playing: If I Ain't Got you - Alicia Keys

Love, Nellaye.

I have RAM ya'll!

I'm so happy. I exchanged the old, old RAM that I bought last week for some old RAM that now works on my computer and has made me very very happy :)

Here's a quick SEQUENCE of EVENTS:

1. Got home and pulled the case off my computer again
2. Pulled out current RAM and put in new RAM to see if the computer will boot up with new RAM
3. Computer boots up successfully, shut down computer
4. Return current RAM to original slot and put new RAM in new slot
5. Put case back onto computer and plug all peripherals back in
6. Boot up computer and find out I have no Hard Drive
7. PANIC
8. Rip case off computer and stare at the intricate detail of a computer's insides *confused*
9. Re-plug a plug that seemed to have come out
10. Boot up computer, with everything back to normal :)

If you're completely confused about what I'm talking about, don't worry - it's nerd talk.
If you're smiling because you're happy that my computer is $170 faster - thank you, I'm happy too :)
If you're rolling your eyes at the screen thinking "This girl's a loser" - shut up, you're jealous and you know it ;P hehe

That's all for now. Bye!

My birthday in 5 pictures (don't feel bad if you're not in any of them... there are tonnes more going up real soon!)...


Lots of food!


A touching speech... and Veed being impatient as usual :)


Mel and I singing, Mindy getting bored of us singing, Jess wishing she was singing, and an unintentional almost-flash


Some outdoor action


Awesome voices and NelNixTin....... again!

There's stacks more... I'm just drip feeding them to you.

MORE LOVE: Thanks lots to my camera girls- Kris+Kate, the various video camera crew, and Veed - my impromptu emcee

Peas.

10 days later...

Warning: This is a long post. Click here to see it in a larger window

Work's been amazing! Not only am I learning more than I ever expected to learn - but the people I'm working with are so awesome! Two noteable events:
#1 - Drinks with the summer kiddies on Wednesday arvo. Suddenly, about twenny-sumthin TAAAALL IBG interns were part of the group. So, I got to catch up with the kids I made friends with on the first induction AND meet a whole lot more! After we got kicked out of Macciato, we proceeded for some more alky across the road at theVAULT.

#2 - Knocked off work early on Thursday to have a Christmas afternoon with the team. Went to Dee Why Beach for a swim with the up-for-its then had drinks and dinner along the strip. It was so awesome. I find it so amazing that I managed to get along with a bunch of people are at least ten years older than me - all married or the sort! I even got a Christmas present from the boss. Can't help but feel loved - it was really awesome. Got to Cabcharge it home too - WOOHOO!

Had a lo---hooooot of late nights putting my thank you cards together for my birthday party. Even though they didn't come out as good as I wanted, the effect was there :)

Then............... I turned 21
@ Midnight: I was located in my parent's bathroom, doing what you normally do in a bathroom. I went out to have some tea because - I felt like it. Veed came out into the kitchen and found me sitting on the floor so she wished me her Happy Birthday then. Before I slept, I got my first birthday SMS from the ix-Nay.

theDay: I got my periodic SMS's, the calls... the love. Met up with Cruz for a bit at lunch. I met Baz, Therese, Mel, Veed and Lionel @ Veda for lunch. Ate and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to stay awake.

theArvo: Met up with Liv, Minh and Mel after work. Saw the SmartSalary crew at RETRO for a bit then went in and out of a few bars before deciding to head out local.

theEvening: After getting rejected from Savana's, we had a cheap dinner at Pho. It was a beautiful night - thanks for being there girls!

theNight: We went back to mine, where my cousins and my sister were putting together my giveaways - thanks so much for that. Kristela was being a perfectionist, as usual, but they wouldn't have turned out so pretty w/out her touch :) Talked into the night until I turned 21+1day.

Saturday was hectic as I'd imagined. Lots of errands, lots of helium, not a lot of rest - but I bought Nix her birthday present finally! WOOHOO!

The party itself was awesome! I was so happy being surrounded with everyone that was there. Kudos to Mel, Nix, Alisa, Veed and the KKK for the speeches. Extra love to Kris for making me cry with her beautiful voice.

TIMEOUT: I meant to say it during my speech last night but... THANKS MILLIONS to my "two hands". While life's so hectic and I don't have time to sit down and take it all in, I've got the most willing girls to help me run the errands I couldn't and put up with my bossiness. Luv yas Neex&Veed

There are so many things I'm thankful for from last night. I can't say them all coz this blog is long enough - but all you guys know how much I appreciated you being there to celebrate my 21st birthday. There's too many of you to mention but:

T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U

... from the very bottom of my heart. You guys know you rock my world in so many different ways ;) Just wait for my end-of-years aiiiite?

Pics up soon. LAAAAHV YA! <3 Nel

Party Planning is difficult. I wish I just had a surprise party... actually... =D (Hi Veed!)

theWEATHERchannel reckons it's gonna rain on my party day *boo* so I think I have to get a marquee... maybe. My dad (even though he openly opposes me having a party at home at all) reckons we can all squash into my house relatively comfortably. Lucky I'm not super popular... I reckon I'm only REALLY expecting about 40 people for sure... actually, that doesn't include family and the tentative... so maybe up to 60 =
If you reckon you're invited but didn't get an invite, haaaahller at me and I'll send ya the deets: nelzy@spryte061.com (I recommend you make the subject really unique because... well you'll understand if you saw how much junkmail I got)

TODO:
* Giveaways - Neex helped me with the idea for these so I'm working on those on the weekend
* Invites CANCELLED
* Dress - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try to wear a dress if you're a girl!
* Party Hire - Where the bulk of my weekend is going

Oh yeh... and PRESENT IDEAS - are hard. But HONESTLY, your presence will do me just fine :). If you can, hook me up with a CD of songs I can play during the night because I couldn't be bothered doing it myself... mostly old stuff from my high school/primary school years - that'd be cool. Only if you could be bothered...

But seriously, rock up, look beautiful and I will be forever grateful.

Work is fantastic. I've never been so happy shit-kicking. I'm doing some really minor code changes throughout one of the web-based apps - doesn't change any functionality, just refactoring really. I can't expect to be doing anything useful for a while - I hardly know the business yet! But I'm really looking forward to all of that!

You don't understand how happy I was last night. If you were there, you know why... that's all.

Ok, Spamela and Mewissa reckon I'm in love just because I was talking to this guy at lunch today. Is it supposed to be my number 1 goal in life to find someone? Coz it isn't for me. If you've been through what I've been through, and seen what I've seen... you wouldn't have any faith in guys my age. PLUS, I'm loving my freedom. I can't imagine fitting a boyfriend into my life at the moment. They're good as friends... but that's it.

I remember the times when my boyfriend was expected to be everywhere I was - and when he wasn't, I'd get asked a gazillion times "So, where's so-and-so? What's he doing tonight? How is he?". WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Do people really want to get to know ME? Or do they just care about him AND me. At least now that I'm on my own, I know people are friends with me and aren't just being friends with me because I'm associated with someone else. At least... I'd like to believe that :)

Sheesh.

Okay... I get all riled up when I start talking about my freedom. Must be a Sagittarius thing :) But I'll stop now. Promise.

Ok Bye.

I've had so much excitement in me for the past two days. I wonder whether it'll diminish once I settle in...

On the Induction: Met the other 12 Summer Vacation Students at Thinkspace yesterday morning. I think we were all equally nervous and excited which made things a little more comfortable. I believe we're all in different areas of the bank... with only 3 of us hanging out as part of ISD - in different groups though. We sat through a number of talks on the bank's facilities, HR policies, coy values and the internal intranet. I think it was the first lot of talks I haven't nodded off in. Morning tea was great, Lunch was great - then we had to go to work...

On the Perks: OROTON @ Wholesale prices, free weekend parking, schmancy pen - what more can I say?

On the Execution: We all ended up on Lvl 7 while our supervisors called our division contacts and one-by-one we were taken away into an unknown world. It was pretty scary... but funny at the same time.

On the First Afternoon: I was introduced to all the people who sat around me - had to start memorising names again! I also got taken around to key areas as a mini-tour before I got to work. I was asked to work on setting my computer up with the right dev tools yesterday afternoon. I hit a bit of a dead-end in the process, but it was the end of the day so I just left it for the next day.

On the Second Day: I spent all of today finishing off my machine setup. This included a lot of waiting time because it took a while for the helpdesk to set me up on Unix - so I browsed some other docco lying around... and went through some Java tutes - FUN! I was gonna have lunch with Mew, but the team usually has lunch together on Tuesday (which is one or two team members' treat!) so I decided to stay in and get to know the team a bit better.

On the Christmas Party: WOOHOO! Christmas Party in 2 weeks!

On the Security Passes: I LAAAHHVVEEE IT! I've never had one before - so everytime I use it, I feel like a spy! VERY COOL!

Ok that's it for now... more later... maybe.

Y'know what I realised today? Male cologne can be really ALLURING. There's something about it that can turn someone into WOW-material. It's like a drug or something - stay strong Nel, stay strong!

One more thing...
On Tact: Some people don't have it... but should.

Ok really... that's it. Bye!

* twiddling thumbs *

...

* INHALE *

...

* EXHALE *

... there's no turning back now...

PS. Today was beautiful :)
PPS. Thanks for listening... I'm going to sleep now.

*editEXTRAedit*
One more thing... reckon people in relationships have a better knowledge and understanding of the protocols of relationships than people who aren't? If they do, does this knowledge disintegrate once you come out of a relationship? Or maybe it becomes blurred when you've been out of a relationship for - say - over a year?

Because seriously... I sometimes get this feeling that my opinions are deemed invalid coz I've been out of a relationship for a while. It's like... I can't possibly understand because I'm not there.

I guess I don't really care. As long as I'm not going out with a person that's macking around behind my back - I am sweet.

Ahh... so bitter about the male species. Disagree? Come on. You have to at least let me claim the knowledge of the ability of the sleezy/unfaithful/confident male? Thank you.

Jesus, Jesus,
Holy and Anointed One,
Jesus.

Your Name is like honey on my lips,
Your Spirit's like water to my soul,
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet,
Jesus, I love you,
I love you.

Jesus I need you...

Funny how what He has to offer is all that keeps me going when I'm at my lowest.
I can only imagine what it'd be like to love as much as He does.

NEWSFLASH!

1. I am up to Disc 6 of 6 in my ALIAS Season One DVDs - how's that? Season One in one week. Lucky I didn't watch Season One! I woulda been going through withdrawals all week waiting to see WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT?!

2. I finally started learning Java. Just getting into the rhythm... learning stuff I already know, but just drilling it in just for me.

3. I have back dimples! HAR HAR HAR! They're really low in my back so you probably can't see them unless I'm wearing really low-rise jeans. But I'm so proud of them! See, I started to believe I couldn't get them coz it was something that was part of your genetic make-up or not. But I have them! WOOOOW!

4. Gonna go shopping tomorrow! WOO HOO!

5. I like knowing I have one of the Top 20 WAM's in my course!

That's all. My head is spinning... gym took out all my energy. Need to shower. Bye!

I'm still awake because I can be. I had to finish this Industrial Training Report that's due on Friday. I probably don't have enough time to get it done for the rest of the week anyway. I managed to get a V to make sure I didn't procrastinate tonight.

This week is supposed to be my relaxation week. To me, Relaxation = Watching ALIAS Season One DVDs

When I'm not "Relaxing", I've been:
* Looking for RAM unsuccessfully
* Wanting to study Java unsuccessfully (actually, I did some coding tonight - so that's a start right?)
* Working toward the pre-ADORE conference on Saturday
* Doing my Industrial Training deliverables (which are GONE after tonight!)
* Planning little particulars for my party - it's in just over 2 weeks yo! Have not planned anything but the date, time and location. HELP! Nix has done my invites so I might spare some time tomorrow to work on those... once again UNSUCCESSFULLY

Gosh... maybe if I hadn't watched the 10 or so episodes of ALIAS that I have... I'd be on top of some of those things. How dare work give me something so interesting to play with on my week off!

... which reminds me...
* I need to buy KK present for workmate before Christmas Party on Friday =\ OOPS!

ARGH! Not relaxed at all. But I guess the rush is good. I'm wondering what it would've been like if I hadn't taken this week off... hmmm.

Anyways... should I have a marquee at my birthday? I don't really want to because, if it's a sunny afternoon, I don't want to block the sun away y'know? Waddayareckon? Okay... maybe I should wait til after Sunday to plan this crap. What food do you guys wanna eat? Kuf oath how annoying. AAAAAH! Too many questions. No answers.

Why can't time just STOP for a bit? Everything's going too fast for me and I can't keep up with it. BREATHE! It's 3am. I should sleep. Goodnight.

Excuse the rambling. Bye!

I hate it when video clips make the song look crap. I saw Guy's video clip today for "Angels Brought Me Here" - and I was very disappointed. All I can say is, he's lucky he's got an amazing voice - because that was so not an amazing video.

+PLUS+ Oh yeh! and I'm going to the Australian Idol concert in January! WOOHOO! I managed to withdraw almost $700 out of my bank account yesterday just for it. Can we say OBSESSED?

Anyways, yesterday was my last day at SmartSalary. Gosh. It still feels surreal. It's hard to believe that I won't be waking up at 6am Monday morning and heading off to work as I have been for the past year or so. I'm really gonna miss the people there LOTS - they kept me very sane.

It was really sad yesterday arvo, when I got calls from some of my workmates who were in Perth, saying goodbye and all. We had lunch at RETRO which was really nice. Then we had drinks around 5pm where the Dunk made a speech for me and forced me to make one of my own. I was so close to crying man! Anyways, they all pitched in to get me a farewell present. They got me a TV HITS magazine with the top 6 Aussie Idols on the cover - how embarrassing! I also got the whole first season of ALIAS on DVD, and Vida hooked them up with her staff discount to get me some really nice gold earrings!

Cchan got me a little photo box which I thought was really sweet, and Dunk got me "The Best of Friends vol1&2". I don't think I'll be staying away from the TV for the next week!

I headed to RETRO after work with a few of the boys for drinks. My dad picked me up around 11-something and I had to fall asleep straight away before he realised that I was slightly trashed.

In other news, It was Llewol's birthday on Wednesday. I'm currently minimising what I eat today because I'm really excited about eating the whole buffet at his birthday dinner tonight! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE! My proxy birthday present for you tonight is my little portable TV just in case they're not broadcasting the Rugby at the restaurant.

Anyone wanna take me out next week? I'm gonna be so bored and free. Hm.

Okay bye!

TONIGHT I LEARNT
... that the reason I stopped attaching myself to series' was because anything that happens in it affects me emotionally

Whoever writes the scripts for ALIAS is just plain MEAN.

Good night.

WARNING! WARNING! Please keep Saturday, December 13 free. The thought of losing more of my friends to weekends away and other people's birthday parties isn't very fun.

I watched HOW TO DEAL last night. I have many issues with that movie. Watch it if you want. Love it if you want. I just didn't like how a lot of things turned out.

Anyways, I don't know what to blog, so I'm just going to write a list.

NEL'S LIST OF CRAP
* I did not play Hexic at 1am last night for an hour
* I did not wake up this morning and play Hexic straight away
* I do not go on Ringo to check if people have written stories about me
* I do not get sad when I find out noone new has
* I do not get sad when noone new wants to make me a direct friend
* I do not like anyone... like that
* I do not wonder whether, if things were different, things would be better
* I do not regret anything
* I do not think a lot
* I do not have a bad memory
* I do not wonder whether love can really be amazing
* I do not trust people easily
* I do not think Supre clothes are worth wearing
* I do not dance around my house in front of mirrors when I'm alone on Saturdays
* I do not LOVE Australian Idol
* I do not mind if Shannon wins
* I do not think my $30 worth of votes for Guy will make a difference
* I do not think that temporary "afro" around my blog reminds me of pubes
* I do not laugh at everything
* I did not write this last point just to make this list 20 points long

How's that for a whole lot of bs?

Hi. It's been a pretty uneventful weekend - with the exception of my Nix's birthday :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIX! Last night Veed and I went with Nix, Jess and CYrille to Silver Spur for some eats. Since it took them bloody forever to seat us, they gave us some free garlic bread or something - which managed to fill us halfway or something! I couldn't finish my main coz of it I reckon! But it was pretty good. We all made speeches and their staff came over to sing to her and everything! Lots of fun!

We dropped in at Macca's afterward coz he was having some birthday celebrations (so many November babies!) too. Had to check out early though because we had to be home (yes, we DO obey our parents!).

Anyways... can you tell who I go for in AUSTRALIAN IDOL? I'm going to ignore 1/3 of GUY's performances tonight - and the rest of Australia should too if they know what's good for them! Gonna pick up my $30 credit of Voda credit tomorrow to go on a voting frenzy. Does anyone else need some? Gotta vote gotta vote!

Last, but not least, please go to http://www.mhccrusade.com. If you're even a smidget interested, trust me, you won't regret it. I promise.

That's all for tonight. The rest of my week was uneventful - either that or I don't remember what happened because I'm such a forgetful *bleep*. Bye!

"I just want you to be happy"

The last time I heard those words was in the last episode of Ti3, from Stephanie to her boyfriend Anthony. Okay, so it's easy to assume that she only said it to push him toward the girl that seemed to make him happy in the video footage she saw whilst on the island.

I know I over-analyse but...

What do those SEVEN words mean to you? I think they're beautiful. I think that they can become a statement that expresses a pure abandonment of one's emotions and desires for someone else's happiness. It's a hard thing to do. I guess if you look at the big picture, and believe that whatever happens is supposed to happen then it makes it a whole lot easier. That's all.

In other news...
T'was Lilibeth's birthday on Friday, her celebrations were last night. It was a yummy night! I threw a few pics I took last night up so enjoy, if that's your thing *shrugz*

Loving these songs:
Freestyle - So Slow (Yeh Al... it's awesome!)
Rebekah Lavauney - Dance with You

PeeSouth.

Good Saturday Morning once again :)

Seems the norm for me now. Live the week, then blog it all on Saturday.

NOTEABLE NOTES
* Not very happy about Paulini leaving AI on Monday. I was REALLY looking forward to a Guy/Paulini sing-off in the finals, but I'm beginning to think that the Aussies want to pull another anti-climax and make Shannon win --> \/\/

* Took a day off work on Tuesday to study for my one-and-only exam this semester. IA was boring - and so was the exam. I hate coming away from the subject - not challenged and just as dumb as I was before the semester started.

* "John Cusack"-but-hotter isn't in my Spanish class anymore :(. He switched to the class he was supposed to be in - and the class I was supposed to be in GRR!!

* I bought the Australian Idol Final 12 Album. Don't tease me. Coz I know you all want it in one form or another :)

* Went "for drinks" with "the girls" last night - well that's what I told all my workmates when they asked me what I was doing this weekend. Here:

1. "for drinks" = Cheap dinner at Veda Bar with Minh and I being the only ones downing anything alcoholic; Talking till about 9pm when we headed down to George St. cinemas to watch KILL BILL.
2. "the girls" = Some girls + some boyfriends + Phil

KILL BILL was pretty interesting man. I'm still trying to get my head around it... and I spent 60% of the time watching the movie from behind my hand, but I'm anticipating Vol2! We needed to head home after that, so I got dropped off at Minh's where I saw her "free peeing" puppy (HOW CUTE WAS HE?). Mama picked me up shortly after.

* Got moved from the IT/Accounts/Marketing side of SmartSalary to the Operations side. A little meloncholy because it seems like Stage One of my "leaving" process. Damn.

* Decided that I need to get these 21st plans happening already. Keywords so far: dresses, marquee, bbq. Haven't got anything solid yet. I need some input-age! So be prepared girls, because I'm asking you guys FIRST!

Okay... that's all. TekketEezy. Bye!