Friday, December 31, 2004

Farewell 2004

#1 - Keep God first... ALWAYS I'd like to say satisfied, but there were a few hiccups during the year no doubt. Just gotta keep pushing on...
#2 - Less procrastination, more do MM... I was still a pretty bad procrastinator - although I DID do quite a bit of "do". I planned things this year!
#3 - Be a good role model and friend to those who depend on me Re: #1
#4 - Leave Sydney at least 3 times: January, July, November/December January (tick), July (tick), November/December (1/2 tick - because of complications)
#5 - Stay happy, stay positive, stay healthy Happy (ultimately), Positive (generally), Healthy (oops)
#6 - Learn to spend wisely, not impulsively..... more I went a good 2 months without splurging thank you very much! I'd like to say I satisfied this one :)
#7 - Graduate with a graduate position (tick)

This is my third attempt at writing a reflective entry about 2004. I wanted to do it in pictures but that was too time consuming, then I was going to do a point form recount but I didn't feel like reading through all my blogs and re-writing what was already there.

I wanna do a recap with someone.

When I think about 2004, I feel happy. It was a good year. I can't say that it didn't go by without hiccups and mistakes, but I like to think that I came out after it all a better person. I'm still not perfect schmerfect, but I'm trying.

I think I learnt a lot about myself this year. What makes me happy, what makes me tick, what hurts me, what I'll stay up all night for, what I have little patience for. I've done a lot of thinking about what it is I want out of life. I've decided that I want to see the world, if not now, then before I'm 30. I don't have a lot of long-term goals, I have long-term dreams. I've been able to crawl out of my shell a bit more and I'm more confident in who I've become.

All of that wouldn't have been possible if I didn't have the network of friends I hold very dearly to my heart. I don't mean to be soppy, but it's true. My seven wonders, especially my three lifelines - I don't know where I'd be without them. I care about them, they look after me, they make me really happy.

I'm grateful for all the good times. The parties, the karaoke sessions, the all-nighters, the useless hang-outs, the d&m's and the late night phone calls. I'm even grateful for the biffs, the fights and the misunderstandings.

... bring on 2005.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

why?... and why not?

Sometimes the only way you can answer the why's of life are:

"Because I have to"

... and sometimes the only way you can answer the why not's of life are:

"Because I can't"

Funny isn't it?

That's what happens with you mix rationals and idealists.
That's what happens when you're in a world with so many should be's and shouldn't be's.
That's what happens when you're in a world with rules, restrictions and uncertainties.

I couldn't sleep - and for some reason, I couldn't sleep without getting all that out of my muddled head and organised into words in some sort of structure. Good Night!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004


Lea Salonga & Brad Kane - We Could Be In Love

Where do you start when you've been MIA for over a week?

Well, Christmas came and went just like that. At the beginning of the week, I had a bunch of presents to buy, there was nothing under our tree and we were in the middle of the dawn mass stint. It was only about 20min before I left to go to the hospital to visit my mum on Chrismas Eve that our Christmas tree had presents under it. Poor turn out though. With Ma in the hospital, there couldn't be an abundance of presents under that tree. So, apologies to those who didn't get anything from us this year. We'll get our act together next year =)

We visited my mum before going to Church. The whole family was there so everyone got to have their time with her, it being Christmas and all. Dad, Veed and I went to mass at Merrylands before heading home to bring my ham and mash specialty and our gifts to Tita Shirley's house. We exchanged gifts and just basked in the love that was the family, in the back of my mind, thinking of my mum and wishing I could be with her. Oh yeh, she's moved out of the ICU! That happened on Christmas Eve - that was a nice Christmas present for the family.

We played our first two games of Cranium and I remembered instantly why I was so in love with that game. We got home around 4.30am Christmas Day. Christmas Morning, we spent with mum in the hospital. We went to Tita Cyn's house for lunch then went back to the hospital to be with mum.

Not the ideal Christmas, but it contained the essenial elements - Christ, Family, Love, Pictures... and okay... PRESENTS!

Hi. I'm a graduate!

Midnight of Veed's 20th Birthday we had just finished playing another 2 games of Cranium (Veed and I are 2-2).

We spent the morning in the hospital before going to the AHFI Christmas Party. Kris and I headed out into the City to meet Veed for dinner. We had dramas with Baia so we didn't end up eating there. Instead Ricky hooked us all up with $15 dinners at Garden Buffet @ Star City. Turned out better - more food, less money, more satisfied =] Nice evening - except I was wearing a shirt with no sleeves and a skirt, and it was pretty windy up on Pyrmont Bridge =\ Nice night overall.

I bought shoes from Mollini because they were cute and were about 65% off
I bought $211 worth of make-up from Myer because my mum said I need to and it'll make me glow. Two-hundred-and-eleven dollars later, I reckon I look exactly the same.
I got a haircut. It's much lighter (weight) now. I got sick of putting my hair up and it just stopped looking good.

That's all I think ya'll need to get caught up on. Else, life's good. I'm cruisin'. Peace.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

It's beginning to look a lot like.... CHRISTMAS!

So, it's the end of another loooong weekend. I don't think you wanna hear a play by play (nor do I want to write one) so I'll just start from yesterday.

Yesterday, I felt immensly domesticated. With my mum not at home, the family's had to pick up extra chores and responsibilities. I started the morning by doing laundry. Then, I put on some Lea Salonga and Mariah Carey Christmas CD's and ironed the backlog of ironing from the past n number of weeks.

By the time I finished all of that, it was time to visit my mum. I hung out at the hospital until it was time for me to start preparing for the evening's dinner. I went to Stockland (because there was no way I was going to Parra Westfield!) to buy ingredients for the mains I was planning to make for dinner. Uncle Joel did the shelf-picking, I just paid coz I had NO idea what I was supposed to be getting =\.

He helped me make the ham my mum usually makes for Chrismas Eve Dinner (but, a smaller version) and I mashed some potatos to go with it. After about 3 hours of slaving away... I had prepared TWO mains! I was so proud of myself.

The Christmas Dinner itself was really nice. Everyone brought a little something to share with everyone else - we all ate very well. I think I'm still bloated from the whole dinner. Thanks to all the people that provided the dinner, drinks and dessert for the night =)

The $2 budget on gifts made gift giving rather entertaining - it's amazing what kinda stuff people can buy for $2 (I'm still getting over the $1.40 mug)! Anyways, I scored myself some juggling balls - Thanks Minh!

Amongst the main festivities, the girls found time to watch Mean Girls, the boys played XBox and basketball, and we played a game of SceneIt! to end off the night.

T'was fun. I really enjoyed myself =)

Nix left around 3am or something, and my Dad needed to be awake at 3.30am so I couldn't be bothered sleeping. I hate the tease factor of the micro-naps. I went through some pictures and had some receiver time before it was time to head off to dawn mass. I crashed once I got home.

Today wasn't too eventful. The most eventful thing I did was visit my mum in the hospital.


The most eventful thing that happened today was that I go to watch Australia's Brainiest Kid in the hospital waiting room. I think that show is rapidly climbing the charts to becoming my favourite TV show (behind ALIAS, of course). I wish I coulda been on that show. I wish I coulda been part of the Mathletes in Mean Girls. Wow.

Ok, and just to continue with the uneventful theme of today, I'm off! Seeya!

PS. Pics are up. I should really stop writing that. Ya'll should just assume they'll be up after any event my camera's involved in.
PPS. Christmas shopping starts tomorrow! Geez I'm slow!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

to be or not to be... the bachelor(ette)

I was talking to Mel last night about bachelors. It's the fantasy of so many guys - being uncommitted, independent, free of responsibility and for some, having lots of... y'know.

Sure, single life is GREAT. I only have myself to worry about and I can live my life without a boyfriend either:

a) worrying about whether I'm cheating on him or not,
b) giving me a reason to wonder whether he's cheating on me or not,
c) expecting me to buy him ridiculously expensive presents,
d) telling me I can't talk to my friends,
e) smothering me with phonecalls about how he's bored,
f) telling me I'm too fat, too unkept, too poor, too uncaring, or
g) keeping tabs on where I am, who I'm with, and what I'm doing.

It's been like that for a loooong time, and I've really enjoyed it. I'm not going to deny that I never wished I had someone around that I didn't have to share, but on the whole it's been a very liberating experience.

So, would I want to be a bacheorette when I'm 30? No. I asked myself that question last night while I was talking to Mel. The answer came to me straight away:

It's just not fulfilling. Ultimately, I want to share my world, my life, with someone whom I really care about.

That's the dream.

Ok bye!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

weekend thaaaang

That was one looooong weekend!

Saturday started kinda late because of the night before. I did some laundry (which was rained on in the afternoon) then trekked over to Parramatta to shop with Alisa and Lori. While exploring Myer, I called Nix to help me organise the dinner for Sunday night:

Nel: Ok, then we'll have dinner after. So can you make a booking please? Coz I'm not at home right now...
Nix: Yeh allright. Where at?
Nel: Book for 10 at the Piazza
Nix: Um, Nel, there are like FIFTEEN restaurants in the Piazza

Doh! Dumbass.

After Parra, Veed and I went to to Westmead to visit Mum. We didn't get to see her long because she didn't want us there :(. She wrote (coz she can't talk) something about how there was some hectic going ons in the ICU and she didn't want us to be around when the sh*t went down. Well, she wrote something to that effect =
Saturday night was spent at Vin's house for her birthday (which 2 weeks from today [Today = Monday the 13th]). It was a good night. Really good food, karaoke, MC-ing on the Magic Mic, Jenga - good, good fun.

... now the birthday blog.

* My mum mouthing "Happy Birthday" to me while squeezing my hand on Saturday afternoon
* "Nel! <mouthing>Happy Birthday</mouthing>" - Ana
* "OMG! NEL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" - Alisa, followed by a choir of "Happy Birthdays from the rest of the group
* Phoning till I fell asleep early Sunday morning
* The kiss on my cheek from my Dad to wake me up
* The blonde doll with freckles my Tita's and Uncle Joel got me because "it looked like me"
* My mum smiling
* "Yeeeeh Twenty-Twooo!!" - Bro Seb
* The sushi banquet at the MHCC Meeting
* Being around my friends for the movie and dinner @ Hogs Breath
* All the SMS's and phonecalls throughout the day
* The cake at the MHCC meeting and the slice at Hogs Breath

There's so much more... I just can't think of them right now... but THANKS to everyone that played a part in making my birthday enjoyable for me =)

* The "leisurely love" lecture
* Ocean's Twelve

I don't know guys, I saw some really good reviews for Ocean's Twelve on the net this morning. But I HATED it. I don't recommend it to anyone that enjoyed the first movie because of the robbery execution (hi).

Anyway, I had a wonderful time. Twenty-two, here I come! Bye!

PS. Pictures are up.

Saturday, December 11, 2004


I don't know what I'm doing anymore / I'm feeling like a little girl / Caught up in emotions / I'm out of control / Isn't it obvious?
Christina Aguilera - Obvious

I didn't really understand that song until I was listening to it in the car this afternoon - and I like it lots =) This post has nothing to do with the "obvious" theme. But y'know...

My Titas organised a little shindig last night for my birthday (and Tita Mai's, Tita Mir's [and Joe's] and Veed's) and to farewell Tita Beth who went back to the Philippines this morning. It was Wednesday night she told me to invite some of my friends. Hello? Two days notice. Anyway, turns out the girls had plans so the only ones out of my friends that could come were Nix, Alisa and "my true friends": the boys *rollseyes*.

T'was a nice night. I had a good time. A party can't go wrong with a bit of chilling, a bit of drinking, a bit of basketball, and a bit of KARAOKE. Mel turned up after her engagements later that night too. After most of the people left, us girls played a round of Scene It! (thanks Joey) which was a bit hard for us (minus Nix).

Pictures are up on the imagestation.

Ok that's it. Bye!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

one tree hill

Why do you stay with him anyway?
Sometimes it's good... sometimes there's noone else

My verdict: THUMBS UP to "One Tree Hill"

It helps that Chad Michael Murray is beautiful. So is the girl that plays Hayley. Not a flawless plot, but it has a bit more substance than the OC.


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

i love...

When I have nothing to blog about, I blog quotes from movies that have been in my head lately:
I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I love that movie.

* My new favourite drink are the Mango Smoothie Chillers from Gloria Jeans. Try one! You don't know what you're missing until you taste it - TRUST ME!
* Renny's 21st Birthday Bash on Saturday night was nice. So was the catch up with the Hawai'i Girls. I missed them lots. They got me really cool pasalubong! I can't wait till I get to go with them!
* I'm back at work now
* My mum's recovering very slowly. Please keep her in your prayers and thanks to everyone for their well wishes
* I've been to the hospital everyday for the past 2 and a half weeks
* There's the CUTEST male nurse working in ICU - if only he wasn't married
* Should I become a nurse? Apparently, it's just a phase I'm going through... none of my friends think I could really be serious
* I didn't buy the Converse shoes. I bought Lacostes instead
* I've spent about $400 on clothes and shoes in the last week
* Reconciling cancelled travel expenses is a b1tch
* My belly button piercing is a bit infected
* I'm changing my Optus plan next week - $79 caps are great!
* Team Christmas Lunch tomorrow at Kobe Jones on the Wharf - pretty excited about the work-free afternoon!

Ok bye!

PS. Does anyone wanna watch Ocean's Twelve with me? I really wanna see it... but it's probably gonna end up in my TO-SEE-ON-DVD list like the rest of the movies I wanna see. Please?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

change one thing, change everything

It's funny how things can change so dramatically in the span of a week. It's amazing how one decision could change everything so quickly.

So basically, my mum's been in the hospital for a week and a half, in ICU for the past week. The solution seemed obvious: I couldn't leave her. Once she told me she didn't want me to go, I made my choice. But so many people were affected, so much money was involved and I was already attached to what my summer was going to be like.

So we're not going to Europe. I didn't even go to Hawai'i.

But, the way I see it, I couldn't really go. My heart would be here, my thoughts would be frantically wondering what was going on with my mum. Just wasn't meant to be. But we will do it one day - PROMISE!

So, my mum's doing fine. She's recovering - slowly but surely. I truly cherish all the time I get to spend with her in ICU - whether it's telling her stories, reading her messages (she can't talk so she writes to us), praying by her side or just sleeping with her hand in mine. I can't wait to see her be more animated, telling me everything she's wanted to say, laughing and being free from all the lines going in and out of her body. I love her. I really do.

Tita Beth (Phils) and Tita Grace (US) arrived today to be my mum's side for the next couple of weeks. When my mum saw them this morning, she was so happy. I'm happy.

Apparently, I can't pull off high-top Converse sneakers. Apparently, it's not me. How is it that we find out what is us? Then, when we do, do we stick to it for the rest of our lives? That's impossible! We evolve, we try new things and when we find out it works, our style is redefined. Heck, if I didn't change my style ever, I'd still be wearing big t-shirts over floral leggings and sandals.

Apart from that, looks like I'm going back to work next week *sigh*

On a positive note, I can shop again!
(a bit more freely after all the holiday cancellation crap is all over)

Oh and question:
How do you judge the closeness of a relationship?

... is it by the depth of their conversation?
... is it by the level of support b/w them?
... is it by how much they tell each other?
... is it by how well they know each other?
... is it by how much they interact?
... is it by how long they've been friends?

Since people are so different. I think every relationship is even more different. I don't think there's any ONE way to judge the closeness of every relationship. I think closeness is measure on the intangible connection scale - and each connection scale differs from one relationship to the next...

Don't know if that made sense at all... but whatever.

Ok Bye!