Saturday, December 31, 2005

goodbye 2005

Until this year, I had a good set of blogs to draw my last hurrah blog from.

This year goes a little something like this (yes, I counted them):

Nevertheless, I still look back on the year and see one of the most monumental, life-changing and fulfilling experiences in my life thus far.

My mum told me that this year was going to be different. She told me this while she was in hospital a year ago. I couldn't completely understand why or how this year could possibly differ from any other year - but here I am, 12 months later wondering how I could possibly think otherwise.

This year was definately a year of change.

I watched my friends hurl themselves into "the real world" - whether it be a new job, a new relationship, a new country, a new role, a new house, a new environment, new realisations, new lives - I couldn't name any one of my friends who didn't experience a new world. It was inspriring because new worlds come with new challenges many of us weren't prepared for until we looked up and found ourselves in the middle of it. We didn't have uni to hold us together; nor did we have regular 21sts or planned get togethers to regularly bring us together. Old routines were replaced with new ones and we all struggled in one way or another to find the right balance between work, life, leisure... between friends, family and partners.

And at the end of it all, we all came out on top right? (probably minus one or two hiccups during the year) I think we're still far off from being one hundred per cent satisfied with where we are and what we've achieved but I'm satisfied enough knowing that people around me are happy - or at least slowly finding their place.

What about my year? I didn't know how to do this; blog about what the year's been like for me personally. I was listening to this song last night and I thought it captured what I want to say:
Sometimes you get happy
Sometimes you get blue
No matter the reason life's about what you do
A little by little you make it somehow
No use for your worry the time is now

Whatever we try
Whatever we do
We live and we die
It's all up to you
A new life will grow and follow it through
And rivers will flow and dreams will come true

These Days - Misteeq
...because I'm a strong believer that what you experience and consequently, how your life turns out depends greatly on your choices. So here goes:

My Choices
* I chose to take up salsa... for one session =* I chose to be liberal with my money - that's going to have to change next year
* I chose to say 'yes' more
* I chose to open my heart... then eventually ...
* I chose to follow my heart
* I chose to make new friends, to form new bonds
* I chose to go back to studying
* I chose to be more outspoken
* I chose to be pro-active; to plan things I wouldn't normally plan
* I chose to travel
* I chose to participate in more activities
* I chose to stop exercising
* I chose to watch more movies
* I chose to be ignorant to things I cannot control
* I chose to learn to surf (even though I failed miserably)
* I chose to practise self-control
* I chose to shake off anything not worth the stress I would feel
* I chose to be happy

That's all I really have to say. The rest of it lives in my head. Farewell 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

This time...

Four years ago...
I discovered my love for seafood when Tita Beth and co came over and it's all we ate!
I started gymming for the first time - lots of fire, lots of motivation. Those were the days...
I was still insanely in love with my website - was still in its infancy.
My mind was immature, I had plenty to learn.

Three years ago...
I was on fire.
Pretty sure I was smitten already...
Interviews! Interviews! Interviews! - zero strike rate. Ouch.
I was transitioning out of a life that I shared with someone, to a life on my own. I learnt to be independent, I saw the world from a different view. I had questions because I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what I stood for, my mind was working itself out.

Two years ago...
I just started my Summer Vacation stint at Macquarie - I just realised it was my 2 year anniversary the other day!
I was on a high because, while so much in my life was unsure and messy, my career was rolling somewhere and that gave me peace.
I was preparing for my 21st Birthday do - all last minute of course =]
Self-awareness was a big thing for me
Hexic was big for everyone

One year ago...
Dramas just died down... for the time being
I've probably never analysed so much in my life
I was on an emotional rollercoaster. The whole episode our family went though - all the emotions, the tears and the fear - put lots of things in perspective for me.
I was considering a career change
The summer I was going to have in Hawai'i and Europe turned into a Summer in Sydney

... which brings me to This year...
I'm happy. Probably the happiest I've been for a good while.
My idealist life still contains imperfections but I've learnt that there'll never be a time when EVERYTHING's perfect. Something's always gonna add a bit of colour to my life to motivate me to press on and not take anything for granted.
I've learnt the importance of patience and perseverance. I haven't arrived at the place I'm at now without a bit of patience - without accepting the downsides of the happiness that come my way.
And it's the perseverance that teaches me to appreciate what good does come my way.

THE PAST is a funny thing. I look back on it and I cringe at the things I've said and done that I've moved on from, I reflect on my evolution and I realise that the choices I made were the right ones.

That's all that's on my mind really. Apologies that it's been a pretty "all-about-me" kind of post but Nix said I had to update :)

In other news...
* Nix's birthday do last Saturday
* SIA Trimester is over. Exam was on Wednesday night and I'm fine to not have to talk about bonds and bills for a good 10 years
* ISD Christmas Party Wednesday night @ The Overseas Passenger Terminal - pics on the imagestation
* Uncle Joel's getting married tomorrow (well, today)!

Ok that's it. I'm sleepy. Seeya!

PS. My mind's still immature - I've just learnt to hide it :)