Tuesday, September 30, 2003

G'day. This is the first time I'm blogging from young qPaC (the close to try-hard name I've given the laptop).

Let's set the scene shall we? I'm sitting on Level 2 of the UTS FIT building with the laptop on my... lap =) waiting for my Mom and Vida to come by with the taxi so we can go home - during VC week. Dave left about an hour ago so I've been in the company of the echos of the FIT building. Bloody oath it's quiet. My IA tutor made us come into uni this week. As some sort of consolation, she let us off early. HM.

I downloaded 2 songs onto the laptop in the past hour, not because the WLAN here at UTS is heck slow - but because I have no idea what to download these days. Any suggestions?


... and I might as well tell you all that 'eye knee to pee'.

Entertain me PLEASE?

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Coming to the conclusion of the weekend.

Friday night was awesome. I checked out of work 15 minutes early (coz I'm BAD) and took a train to Nth Sydney to meet up with Lish, Mindy and Ed (and Phil but he went elsewhere) so we could head up to Manly for Minh's 21st!

We went to the hotel room they took out for the night to get ready. I opened my bag to pull out the shirt I was gonna wear and low and behold... I HAD LEFT IT AT HOME! How blonde is that? Lucky, Minh had a spare shirt (that looked almost identical to the shirt she was wearing!) so I boredborrowed (<-- will you LOOK at that spelling mistake?? SHAME!) that. We looked pretty damn identical in terms of clothes! Throw Mindy in and we had a browntop/blackbottom threesome! Awesome venue, hot bar and a good lot of people to make the night totally memorable for our dear friend Minh :).

Afterward, we chilled a bit in the hotel before Mindy and John took Nix and I back to Nix's house where we crashed for the rest of the night.

That was my weekend... seriously. Saturday, I bummed and pseudo-finished this layout. Today, I went to church and went to formation again. Can't wait till the performances tonight!

Okay, bye!

Oh yeh, and if you couldn't tell from the above post, I put pictures up :)

Saturday, September 27, 2003

How come no-one's ever really completely happy with themselves? There's always that one or two things or qualities they have that they'd like to change. Little do they know, someone's looking at them with envious eyes wishing they had those features.

I was thinking about that when I saw my shoulders today. They're so... wide, broad and straight. I stopped caring when I remembered that they invented shoulder pads in blazers for a reason.

Anyways, I'll be back in a bit. Just have to clean up then you guys can listen to me again =)

Okay. It's very incomplete. The content is a bit crappy. But I'm sick of the old one.

E-mail me if you run into ugly errors pls?

Ta luv. Gonna do the sampay. Then I might put up some pictures. Maybe.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Just thought I'd share what I learnt today with you...

You hear a lot of people preaching independence. What does that mean to you?

Well, follow this...

We have a veeerrryyyy old Telstar that my Dad bought as a second car to drive to the station (yeh, we don't use the Tarago to go to the station. It's my Dad's baby). He's let me drive it a few times and he'd be sitting right by me, training me to gas it the right way so that it doesn't die. He coached me so that I got it started quickly and correctly if it died in the middle of a roundabout. Regardless of all that training, I still managed to kill it at least once or twice every time I used it.

He's in America for the next one and a half weeks. I still have to use the Telstar to get from A to B when someone's taking the Commodore out. I've driven it a couple of times during the week and both times, I've managed to keep it alive. I loved it. On my way home from the gym tonight, it died as I left a set of traffic lights and I had to wake it up and move on. Did that fine too.

Point is, I've amazed myself by conquering something on my own. Conquering something, I couldn't otherwise conquer even though my Dad was by my side every step of the way. I guess while he's sitting next to me, I know that I don't have to rely solely on my ability since I know that, if I mess up, he can tell me how to move on. The day came, though, when I had to push myself to do it on my own - relying on my ability alone, I managed to deal with it well - even better than I would with assistance.

I think that takes independence.

Brought back memories of other times in my life when I had to make it alone. That time when I'd cry to my best friend everytime that guy hurt me. She'd tell me everything was gonna be okay and she'd hold my hand so I could move along. There were still times I'd fail, and I'd call on her again and she'd help me back up. It continued that way until she went on her own American holiday. What was I to do? She left me her words of wisdom. With that, I managed to move further in the right direction than she was ever able to push me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, one day one might find themself alone. How do you go on without trust in your own inner strength (not to mention, some of that Divine guidance)? I've been single for so long (*cringe*) that I have no other choice but to rely on myself to make me as happy and strong as I can be. I recall stages in my life where I depended on people to make me happy - but when that went away, I needed to make sure that I could depend on Big Guy up there and myself to keep myself from losing hope and breaking down. Feels good man. Feels very good.

So I guess, when they say "Believe in Yourself" - take the advice. Never underestimate your inner strength.


Wednesday, September 24, 2003

I was thinking about "What if...?"s last night. It's amazing how DIFFERENT things could be if:
1. Something never happened, or
2. You approached things a totally different way - i.e. At a certain time of your life, you had two choices. Imagine how different things would be if you took the choice you didn't take.

It's really amazing. I was thinking about one particular thing, and like... MATE! My life would be so... different.

Y'know how people say that "I don't want to go out with them because we're friends and I'd rather stay friends because getting together and breaking up could possible result in the demise of the friendship. I'd rather have them in my life as a friend than not have them in my life at all" crap?

Well, yeh. I used to think that people just said that because they couldn't get that person. Now, I understand it.


Monday, September 22, 2003

Anyone interested?

I'm planning to learn some Spanish. Let me know if you wanna come! Weekly classes from Monday 13 October, 2003.

Sunday, September 21, 2003


I realised why I get so emotional and deep these days. I think it's because of my heightened levels of thinking and analysing of any and every situation in my or anyone else's life.

Is that bad that I analyse other people's lives? It's not like I tell them (unless relationship boundaries permit) right?

Anyways, yeh... and I think so far into things that if i ever tried to discuss it with someone else, they'd be caught off-guard and need some thinking time before they can really talk about it y'know? Consequently, I fight with myself in my head.

Does that sound a bit schizophrenic?

I just remember times when my ideas were challenged by other people. I remember once Nico picked a fight with me just so we could "challenge each other's ideas". I hated him for that because I get really touchy... but I reckon that kind of stuff helps you learn more about yourself and reinforce any ideas that you were previously less convinced about. I think that kinda stuff is fun =).

Anyways, I wasn't gonna do it... but...

       go LEVI go!

I love that guy man. There's something about the smile he has when he's performing... something about his build too. Don't really know what word I can use to describe it... but he's amazing! The way he performs - rocks my world.

I watched Bad Boys II last night with the cousins. Movie's pretty awesome. Quite graphic and violent though... but it's all part of the movie. I realllllly liked it. Wouldn't mind seeing it again. It's one of those movies where... all the girls fall in love with Will Smith and every guy's dreaming of buying the Ferrari and the "blue suit with the fuschia pink lining". Dream on boys.

Oh yeh, and it was Hana's Birthday yesterday. Headed up to the Entrance with the regular anti-socials and spent the night with the uni people and some of Hana's friends. It was an awesome place that we stayed at! Games, charades, sausages, Krispy Kreme and getting tipsy on half a glass of Midory and an empty stomach - what more could you want? I passed out early-ish though due to lack of rest.

That's all. Byebye!

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Ever felt like you were doing things (or not doing things) only because someone had a problem with you not doing them (or doing them) even if you don't agree with their opinions?

Coz I do. Problem now is, I've been bombarded with so many rules from here, there and everywhere that I'm trying to conform with all of them at the same time - and that doesn't work when they're all conflicting with each other. So, I'm just going to do nothing.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Thoughts for the day (via quotes):

     "You can be who you choose to be
          But whether you do, or whether you don't
                Depends on your PRIORITY" -- Stacie Orrico(Maybe I won't look back)

     "Don't make someone your PRIORITY
          ...while allowing yourself to be their OPTION" -- Denk

     "Happiness is a STATE OF MIND
          ... to be happy, BELIEVE you are happy" -- Me(Variation of Portelli's quote on Success)

FINAL THOUGHT: I don't like feeling NOT trusted. It's probably one of the worst feelings. It feels even worse when you know you deserve it coz it's a real struggle to REGAIN LOST TRUST.

That's all. Bye!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Oh my goodness I just made a resolution. More on that in a bit.

Did I tell you I went to a Cycle class at the gym yesterday? Well, I did. WOW. That's very... tiring! It's cycling basically for a whole hour. I knew I was going to be struggling because cycling isn't really my strength, and I'm quite bottom heavy so the weight of my ass was bringing me down. Anyways, I survived. All today though, I had very sore quads. When I hopped back onto the bike tonight with my Personal Trainer, I started feeling the spots on my ass where last night's bike dug into it. OUCH!

Tonight, my trainer reassessed me. Weight up. Body fat down. Yeh, I'm slightly happy. He reckons I've just packed on a bit of muscle. I eat right most of the time I reckon, but I reckon I need to cut down even more if I'm going to go anywhere. So... here's my resolution:

* Only drink BOOST juice 1xweek

Scary huh? Anyone that knows me knows I probably can't do that. But I'll give it a go for the next couple of weeks and see if it helps me. That'll save me about $45/week too! Wish me luck!

That's all. Bye!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Good evening.

1. This afternoon I decided that I wanted to sleep once I got home
2. My personal trainer told me it's not good to eat less 2 hours before you sleep
3. I ate the biggest lunch at Baba House on King St - Nasi Goreng YUMMMMM*coughOILYcough*! I concluded that my dinner would be tea

Putting all that together, I have my dilemma of the day: I got home and I was starving so I had to have MORE THAN tea (chicken and salmon!) therefore eating too late to sleep now because of point #2. Bloody boo.

How interesting is my life for that to me the most important dilemma of the day? I have no boyfriend, the rest of my friends do, and my sister's on the phone all night so I really don't have anyone to talk to.

Totally contradicting the last paragraph, my life's jam-packed full of crap that I don't have time to sit around and veg out.

Monday-Friday: Work+ (Gym/Uni homework, Uni, Gym, Gym, Friday night activities)
Saturday: AM veg time - if I wake up early enough for it, then Saturday night activities
Sunday: Church, MHCC meeting, Australian Idol

Maybe it's jam-packed, but routine. I need some variety mate.

I like Mindy's daily goal idea. I think I'm going to start making some... maybe =]

I have an urge to call Alisa tonight. She wasn't picking up. Then I read her blog. Then I wanted to call her even more.

Okay, that's all. Bye!

Saturday, September 06, 2003

RANDOMNESS - i.e. totally unrelated babble
I "lost" my cardholder the other night. After having a panic attack and stopping my key card, Vid said she had it the whole time (but forgot when I was looking frantically for it in the morning) *exhale* Anyways, I went to St. George to change security numbers and my PIN on my new card and the woman was being a bit confused and couldn't type my card number into the phone so I didn't put the right security number on. When I tried to log onto phone banking, I didn't know which security number/password combination to use so I rang the help line thing. I was on hold forever - keying in combinations at the same time. OF COURSE, when I finally got in, someone picked my call up on the other line so I didn't really need help after all. Geez.

Ever thought about the reasons people break up with other people? Vida and I were talking about it this morning. When you're really young and inexperienced (not going to put a number on it ever since Ezra gave me bubbles about calling her 'young'), some underlying break up reasons would be:
* That you never liked the person to begin with and just got with them because you wanted a bf/gf
* That you were so flattered when the person asked you out that you didn't bother thinking about whether you really wanted to... you just didn't want to say 'no'
* That you just met the person after getting onto them at some dance, thought they were 'the one' then decided... err... they weren't
* Physical intimacy has died down - it MUST mean they don't care - it MUST mean it's over
* Boredom
* Not getting along
* Someone better came along

There's got to me some more right? They're the only ones I came up with just then. Anyways... as you get older, that list of possible break up reasons shrinks down to:
* Found someone better or saw some desired qualities in someone that your bf/gf doesn't have
* Life paths are diverging
* ... maybe more - but I can't think of any

I think maybe because you become more picky about who you go out with when you're older - I reckon. Friendship before relationship is essential, I reckon. So any reasons related to clashing personalities are eliminated. Just leaves the above two. I think that's interesting. Feel free to argue. I was on 3 hours sleep @ 7am when I came up with those. Atm, it's 10am and I'm still on 3 hours sleep.

Can a guy and a girl really be close/best friends without any current/historical emotional crap?

You know what's funny? How I think every black CRVSport with a white plate number is Nix's. How I think every white Skyline is Lily's. How I think every red SirionGTVI with a yellow plate number and SnapOn seat covers is Dave's. Not so much the last two... but everytime I see that black CRVSport with a white plate number, I speed up to catch up to it just in case it's Nix's. I did it today. HAHA. That's all.

I'm still on 3 hours sleep. How about I sleep some more? Sounds good. Bye!