Wednesday, April 27, 2005

word vomit

What are they doing? Doesn't matter, I can't see anyway. I wonder if they can see me. Woah I think I'm slouching. Sit up. My arm's itchy. Should I scratch it? Might as well - the itch is travelling all the way down my right arm anyway. Now my left arm is itchy. Or is it? Maybe it's just jealous coz my right arm got a scratch? I'll scratch it anyway. Why am I still itchy? Maybe I'm allergic to my lotion again? Wait, I was never allergic to my lotion - I was allergic to night time. That was after I got back from the US. Maybe the US air has something weird in it. Uhoh I'm leaning too far to the left. I bet that guy thinks I have a crush on him coz I was practically lying on him. Idiot. Guys are so full of themselves. I'm gonna turn away just to prove I don't give a crap that he's sitting next to me. I'll cross my legs the other way. Oops, kicked away my gym bag - and now I'm uncomfortable... and my leg's showing. Crap. Ok recompose - stand up, adjust your skirt and sit back down. Now my back's itchy. I can't scratch it coz I'm wearing a jacket and any attempt to scratch won't help the itch at all. I might even make it worse. Stuff it. I'll just bear it. Now... what day is it? Wednesday - already. Excellent. What's to do on the weekend? Oh yeh, I remember. That should be fun. What did I do last weekend? Oh yeh, I remember, heh. When's my credit card bill due? OMG TODAY! Wait... relax, it's taken care of. Where am I right now? Oh right, got it. My lips are dry. Should I lick them? Nah, that'll just make it worse. Wait, I have vaseline. No I don't, I lent it to Veed this morning. I'm sleepy. Wait, why is it so cold? Where's that light coming from? Right. The sun - better put on my sunnies. Ok sun's behind a cloud. Now I'm just wearing sunnies in the dark. Useless. Why can't I stop moving? Ok better sleep, time will go faster that way...

I'm always so anxious, a bit flustered, a bit agitated, a bit excitable. I don't know why. It's like I don't know how to sit still without my mind wandering off to different places, entertaining so many thoughts at once. I can't stay in one position without feeling uncomfortable or rigid. I need to move. It seems, though, that even when I find a position I'm comfortable in someone needs me to get out of their way, I'll cramp up, my shoe will slip off, my calf will itch, my back starts to hurt... SOMETHING will give me a reason to readjust.

Which is why things are so strange right now. Without uni, my life's become a routine. I tried to mix it up by taking up salsa classes every week and, more recently, going to the gym after work. Still, I end up sitting and staring when I get home wondering whether I should be doing something more. This is then why I need to go back to school. I may be graduating two weeks from today (!!), but I'll be back in class a couple of weeks after that. Should be fun.

When the year 2005 started, I promised myself it'd be a good year. I had just finished uni, I was going to be a permanent employee at work, I was going to meet tonnes of new people through the grad program, I was going to pick up some new hobbies, I was going to be empowered and good things were going to happen for me.

It's almost May. Almost a third of the way through the year. It's just flown by. So many things have happened, so many things have changed, people are changing, I'm changing, everyone's doing their thing... I wonder whether I'm keeping up. Once again, I wonder whether I should be doing more. At the end of it all, I decide that life's a ride, and I'm going to ride it. I think I end up happier that way.

On a completely unrelated note, someone who doesn't really speak to me much at all just asked me to help them with their homework because "they know I'm smart". Not even a "Hey, how you doin?"
More often than not, I'm more than willing to help someone who needs me with things they can't handle. But when you know they're just using you... *sigh* dust it off Nel, dust it off

[/babble] Seeya!

Monday, April 25, 2005

it's crazy!

"before I open my eyes......"

Today's been a pretty relaxing and lazy day. I woke up late on a Monday morning refreshed from a long good night's sleep and was pumped for the day ahead. I went to the fish markets with Uncle Joel, Tita Maria and Veed for lunch no makeup and without blowdrying my hair. I felt so natural, so unglamorous and I laaaahved it. It's nice to have a day where your prep time is reduced by more than half and you walk out carefree, confident, not caring about who you run into. I think I'll go au naturale this week. Just don't tell my mum!

After the markets, Veed and I went to Parramatta to get ice-cream from Cold Rock then went home to sleep the afternoon off. How's that?

Saturday Night was Lila's 21st Birthday Party. It was a really nice night. 21st's are so awesome. I miss going to one almost every week and listening to the emotional, funny, or censored speeches that come from all corner's of someone's life.

Things feel... different. Things are different.

I wish I had more interesting things to blog about. I've been mind blanking for a while - sorry!

Goodbye & Good night.

Monday, April 18, 2005

gym junkie

I think I feel the gym junkie-ness coming back. Today marks the day I'm going to try to live a healthy and fit lifestyle. Mama made me baon today - it consisted of vegetables and two tuna sandwiches which kept me well-satisfied-but-not-bloated throughout the day. I also went to the gym this arvo and I feel the strange urge to go again tomorrow afternoon - so I will! I'm on a mission!

The weekend was good-o. Friday night, after work, I met Alisa and Nix then the rest of the girls in Parra to have dinner at Royale. Post-Royale, we retreated to Al's house for some chatter, drinks and karaoke. Excellent night in. Al also showed us her taped Alicia Keys Grammys 2005 Performances. That woman is my idol. She really has it all!

Saturday was spent doing chores to justify me going out at night =). It was Lish's Farewell @ Opera Bar. Good chance to catch up with people I haven't seen in a while. Opera Bar makes my drink! Woohoo! I was happy about that!

In other news, I've stocked up on a couple old school Whitney Houston songs. She's a legend! I really should get some *NEW* music. I'm so out of it.

Oh and y'know what? Ever since I complained about people asking me what I listen to on my iPod, it's been happening more than ever! My manager called me old for listening to Mariah Carey on Friday afternoon, and the guy at the petrol station thought it was a nice conversation starter while he processed my payment.

I don't really have much else to say. Not here anyway... Seeya!

Friday, April 15, 2005

i'm twisted...

I don't really know what being twisted means. Lanie told me I was gonna get twisted after I downed my "vodka lemon lime" (i.e. straight vodka on the rocks with a slice of lemon and lime) in Ft. Lauderdale last year.

Then there's the term according to Jerzee Monet.

I'm the third kind.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I laahv it!

I was reading this this morning. I loved them!

My favourites:
"I gotta warn ya, every man I've ever gone out with has been ruined."
"Well, that's what they get for messing with my girl."
(Annette Benning and Warren Beatty, Bugsy, 1991)
"I would give anything if you were two people, so I could call up the one who is my friend and tell her about the one I like so much"
(Albert Brooks to Holly Hunter, Broadcast News, 1987)
"I love you."
"I know."
(Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, 1980)

I'm such a girl. Bye!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

you rockin' ?

I was on my way out of work today, and one of my workmates came into the lift with me. He noticed that I was plugged into my iPod and asked: "So what are you listeninng to?"

How do you answer that?

I just said "Oh, just some mp3's from my computer" and he started teasing me as if I put the Windows sound bytes on the iPod and listen to them all day long! Wierd. Before I answered, I had a look at the screen on the mini and seriously, liks I'm really going to tell him I'm listening to some softc--- crap. People really just shouldn't ask.

My uncle just said I look tired because I have dark circles around my eyes. Ouch.

My cousins Bianca and Llena are at my house till the weekend. I love those girls =)

Ok bye!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

... then you blink and tomorrow's Monday

T'was another quiet Saturday night for me. I reckon, a year or two ago, I'd feel a little emptier - wishing that I was out, doing something a little more social. These days, I'm happy to veg out. When you're working 5 days ago, you learn to appreciate the weekends more than ever!

Friday night was a big enough night to last the rest of the weekend anyway (shut up, I know I only got home at 1.30am haha). That night, we threw our own Cocktail Party at the Forbes Hotel for the grads+friends. It was an excellent turn out! So much fun too! You can't really go wrong with cheap drinks and 2-for-1 cocktails aye?

It was around 10-ish when Nix, Alisa and I decided we needed to eat so we went down to Wagamama on the Wharf for dinner. We dropped by Bar333 where a couple of the Forbes people retired to for some dancing before deciding we wanted to go home. My mobile phone time read 11.57pm. We're getting old. When we got back to the car, we saw Manio's car so we met up with him, Llewol and Joe to push our official city departure time to 12.46am. Nice effort - haha.

Yesterday morning, the parentals found out about the belly ring. They came down on me pretty hard because they were fuelled by a number of things I've done to p1ss them off already. So it's coming out. I'm bored of it anyway. It was good for about 6 months, and now it's about as interesting as a tattoo under my foot.

Yesterday... I slept most of the afternoon, woke up, ate, I-netted, watched Alias and went back to sleep.

Now, I need to shower. I'm starting to feel really gross. Bye! =)

Friday, April 08, 2005


Madonna - Take a Bow

... the first song I downloaded on ADSL! Woohoo!

Last night, after salsa, I got home and found out that I wasn't going to be able to set up the ADSL until 8am today - and I'm on my way to work by then! I was so disappointed. Very few people would actually understand how depressed I was when I found this out. I've been excited about setting the whole thing up for the longest time!

I'm a stubborn one though, so right after I took a shower, I attempted to set the connection up. It worked! Wireless and EVERYTHING! I am a techhead! I love it!

Are you proud? Thanks.

... now off to work! Seeya online while I'm surfing at lightning speeds!
I'm such a loser

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Growing Up!

These are just notable notes emphasising the change going on around me:

* Did I tell you my mum went out and bought a new TV, DVD player, and something else that requires us to have three remote controls in the lounge where the new TV is? I'm such a retard, I don't know how to use the remote controls! My mum said she'll write out some instructions because "Press the blue button" isn't enough these days. Too many remote controls!

* We're getting the ADSL connected in a couple of days. I'm really excited about it - mainly because I get to set up the wireless network finally! SNAPS for me! I'm a bit nervous about it but I reckon I'll have someone on the phone to help me in my moment of faux techiness. Aah... fast downloads, smooth webcam streamage... it's gonna be fun!

* I finally got my Medicare Card today. Mum and I are gonna sit down and work out whether it's more beneficial for me to get my own private health care, or just pay my portion under the current family plan. I feel so independent =)

* I told my mum today that I'm just pretending to be responsible, when really, my ulterior motive is to get my independence so I can move out of here as soon as possible....... haha just kidding! I'm too chicken! My mum wants me to move into this place at Baulkham Hills but it's a 3-bedroom place so I need roomies first.

* I got an invitation to my high school's 5 year reunion. I actually wouldn't mind going. I'll probably only go if my friend's go, so hopefully there's a good turn out.

In other news...
I spent today in training - IT Fundamentals they call it and my, my are the concepts fundamental. We walked out going "If I have to see another ERD in my life.........." haha!

The most exciting thing we did today was an estimation exercise where we went into teams and had to estimate time and "cost" to make a paper aeroplane according to specification. Not only, did our team finish first - but I'm pretty sure we had the most cost-effective aeroplane. We didn't buy scissors - we used a fine point pen to cut the paper, and we didn't buy blu-tack to add weight to the nose of the plane (coz the specs said so) - we used a huge chunk of glue! We're so retarded - but it was so fun!

That's all. Seeya when I seeya... speak to you when I speak to you. Bye!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

i have searched for you, and you have come for me

I am undeniably touched by the message of the Holy Father to the youth this evening. I haven't been as glued to the TV news channels (admittantly not glued as I am blogging...) since the 9/11 attacks over three years ago. I don't really know what I'm waiting for, but I'm waiting. I'm so inspired by his works, his pilgimages, his teachings, his perseverance and his words. With his health failing, prayers for him and the church are needed more than ever. May Thy Will Be Done

Akala Mo - Aiza Seguerra

(ok, I've been sitting here for 5 minutes, thinking of something to write, and the song actually comes on!)

Remember the feeling of finally getting all but one of those little steel balls into their little grooves on one of those concentration puzzles, then have someone bump into you and have them fall out of place?

... or, to finally complete some sort of puzzle (yeh, yeh I'm a geek - puzzles excite me - and apparently, they're all I can relate things to haha) and realise you went about it the wrong way completely? To realise your strategy led to a solution that doesn't seem right?

'Tis just funny... the way things turn out. Should get me some new puzzles.

Today was a bludgy one. I only got up and out of the house for a few hours for Kirk's BBQ at Bicentennial Park. Food was good mate, so good. Oh and omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg - that's all. Kris and I made a dance for Vida. That's about as exciting as it got.

This week, I also found out how to fool the MSN Block Checkers. Yes, it's an interesting life I lead haha!

Also, I'm pretty g'd up to set up the Wi-Fi Network at my house next week. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be too hard once I get all the gear together. My workmate drew me a picture of how everything fits together and what hardware I need to get in the next week. Pays to have friends in ITS =] I'm kind of excited. That's all.

Last night (yep, weird order), we found ourselves at Verandah Bar for Manio's birthday. Too bad the boy rocked up right before I had to leave. I was a bit upset because it looked like it was going to be an AWESOME night. I paid $12 for all of the one hour I was in there. That was silly.

I really liked this...
I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some
Herbert Rappaport

So, it's 9.18pm on a Saturday night. It actually feels cool being at home doing nothing. I think I'll watch a movie... or something. Later!