I just wanna say a few things:

1. ALIAS is too good. If you don't already love it for its action - love it for its use of words. Something that really hit home tonight: "Your kindness tortures her"

That hurt. It really did. Because it's true. It happens. The times you have be strong when someone you care about is being nice to you, sweet to you, kind to you - when really, their kindess rips you up inside.

2. I love my friends. I really do. Something that I've learnt is that - it hurts when they don't know that... or they don't believe it.

3. My dad always tells me that I'm the elder one in the family for a reason. Something about me possessing the qualities to be a good big sister. I wonder whether that applies to everything. I wonder whether, if I wasn't the way I am, that my life would be THAT different. I wonder whether, if I switched around my priorities, things would pan out the way they have. I wonder what'd happen if I was like everyone else.

Recently, I learnt that it is our ambitions, our expectations of ourselves that stress us out. I wonder whether, if I didn't expect so much of myself - or if I didn't want things to be at the standard that I want them - whether I'd be more content with less.

I fear that. I fear restricted options - I fear regretting not putting my all into things.